I was in San Jose this past week on business. The weather was awesome. It felt like the gods were smiling all the time. I don’t think this traveling shit is for me. I would rather be at my desk, make things happen then and there. Schmoozing isn’t my forte. Cynicism is something I have to shake off. Appreciating now is most important. I tend to forget that. It is all about perception. What you are perceived is what you are.
Exciting times at work happening. The next big step in career is happening. What fucking next though? What am I looking for? It all feels the same after a little while. I have to take my blog off the internet. I might actually do it soon. Its not fun letting people in anymore.
Other than, this whole summer has been a travel fest. Boston, Toronto, Ann Arbor, Ellicott city, Germantown, San Jose, Pocono. I think I want to slow down. I think I want to stay home and watch the Indian show on Saturday mornings. I think I want to walk around my community, I think I want to take a swim. I think I want to start running again. I want to slow down. I don’t want to talk anymore. I want it to be as it was. I want it to be happier and slower.
Udit Narayan and Adnan Sami have got to stop singing Telugu songs. It sounds pretty damn pathetic. The past weekend, my wives friends were here to celebrate her birthday. A good 10 of them. It was fun and it was refreshing. They are good peoples. I did the whole NYC tourism thing again and visited the Rockefeller and went up for the first time. The city looked pretty spell binding. We did a lot of Kati roll eating and walking around. We all came back, changed went to Nan King in Jersey City and then went back into the city. I must say company makes the game.
End of this month, it is going to be eight years since I came into the country. This is my home and as I have said numerous number of times, this is the longest I have ever been in one place. I am comfortable in my space and in my surroundings. It is eight years. I remember four of us sharing a one bedroom apartment as we couldn’t afford any better. We all could if we extended our hands out to our parents but we didn’t. None of us did. We managed with what we had and we enjoyed life too. I remember the measly 400 dollar stipend. I remember life working in the library and then in the computer lab. I remember having beer for dinner! I remember my masters being a fresh breath of air. I remember all those passionate young men and women out to save the world with their diplomatic degrees. I remember those numerous discussions at the UN. I remember the weekly ride into the city to the UN for my Monday classes. I remember the walks to the UN from Penn station with my good buddy Rick. I remember those rides back to South Orange and then to the local bars. I remember shaking hands with Kofi Annan after he spoke at school. I remember being involved in many presentations involving blood diamonds. I remember writing my thesis on sustainable development. I remember writing about using the internet as a tool for a farmer in southern Africa. I remember going to DC to interview with the World Bank. I remember the feeling of almost being there. I remember the late night walks from school to my apartment in Newark. I remember falling many a times on my ass as I walked home and the side walk was frozen. I remember hating life as I almost froze when I walked home in the winter storms. I remember all of us helping each other cook. I remember waiting for the 31 bus to take me the Newark Penn Station and then back to my sister’s place in Woodbridge. I remember buying my first car. I remember buying my second, third, fourth and now fifth car. I can go on and on and on. I did not struggle. I waltzed through life. I have had a lucky life so far. Writing this blog has been therapeutic and now I am feeling a lot better and am out of the blues. Who the hell am I to complain? I am thirty and I am married. We own a house and I am doing well at work and so is she. All my loved ones are doing fine given the circumstances and the cards that have been previously dealt.
I think I need to sleep.
