googly

Weekend

2009-08-30T18:51:00.003-04:00

It has been ages since i got onto this blog. My last post was on Feb 20th. Around 8 months ago. I think i am going to start getting on this blog again. It has been a great great weekend. We spent the night here in the city. Last night, we did go out for some Indian food to this restaurant called Cooper Chimney somewhere around the 27th and Lex. The food was pretty decent but the company was good. As you grow older, friends are hard to come by but you certainly try and enjoy the ones you have. All said and done, it was a relaxing weekend. Last night was north Indian food and lunch today was South Indian food. The food was sumptuous and very very fulfilling. I will certainly go there again. The restaurant is called Tamilnadu Bhavan and has inspired me to get my ass back to blog. This restaurant is also around 27th and Lex. The sambhar was exquisite with little idlis in them. My kara dosa was delicious too. I went about tasting everyone else’s food and not one disappointed. The BBB and the Pongal were great and so was the Mooru( majjige). For anyone who likes to enjoy the spicy food with beer, they had Taj Mahal and Kingfisher. All in all, it was a great experience.
Good food, old friends and to be with the woman you love- what else would one need?

2009-02-20T22:48:00.002-05:00

I haven’t written in ages. Don’t feel like. The world is falling apart around me but life goes on. Economies are folding, people are losing their shirts and markets are doomed. It is an endless cycle and we are all witnessing it. Why did it happen to someone like me who is at his prime? I haven’t been affected by it as of yet but I am sure that progress will slow down for all of us including my wife and me. These are sad times, 401k's are decimated and anyone retiring right now is screwed. The only silver lining is, it cannot get any worse. Or can it?
It is so freaking cold. I can’t wait for summer. My team sucks and I sound like a whiner.

Someone give me a blank slate?

2008-11-28T22:07:00.001-05:00

It is rather sad. Why are they doing what they are doing? Why do innocent people have to suffer? Have we reached a point in mankind where this is the only answer? We are all human beings and I firmly believe that we are born with the same soul, the same soul that recognizes good from bad and vice versa. Maybe it is because I am naïve? Maybe because I was never thrown into strange circumstances where I had to make the dangerous and painful choice?
India needs to wake up. India needs a new breed of leadership, leadership that evolves from a need to make this world a better place. Hindu, Muslim, Jew, Jain, Buddhist or Christian, it doesn’t matter a damn. We are all one. We just believe in different ideologies. Some of us don’t believe in anything but the good. It is that simple.

We need a clean slate to start again. Can someone give it to us?

Bangalore

2008-09-02T11:54:00.001-04:00

I am in Bangalore. I have been here for the past 2 and a half weeks and I am all set to leave mentally. I would like to see my house. Things have changed dramatically here. Money runs like water and people are show offs. I guess it is because new money has arrived in the droves and people don’t know how to accept it and how to express it. The traffic is horrible and the restaurants are expensive. The dollar has chosen a good time to get stronger as I am getting a lot more bang for my buck.
The face of new India is encouraging but the gap between the have and have nots is huge. Hopefully India doesn’t fall victim to its own prosperity. The fabric of social life is vibrant but with it there are unstable relationships and marriages. I could assure you that Jersey is a lot slower than Bangalore. I was in Tirupathi last week. It was a great time. I was in Mangalore also last week. We flew Air Deccan which has apparently been taken over by Kingfisher. The plane had turbines and I felt like I would die. My paranoia for flying continues. They charged us for the sandwich on board as they are supposedly a low cost airline. The air hostess didn’t want to answer my question whether she liked her job or not. Maybe she thought I was Mallya’s spy.

I am hot as balls and my jeans are bothering me. I cant find my shorts. I am leaving on Thursday.
That’s it. Don’t have much to say. Have a lot to say but don’t feel like. I went to some awesome lounges in Bangalore.

Autos got more expensive.
Girls have bigger boobs now than when I was growing up.
Traffic is horrible.
There are plenty of restaurants in Bangalore.
The lounges are good too.
Nightlife is banned after 11:30
You cannot dance in clubs.
Kids smoke.
I had plenty of Kingfisher.
Girls have bigger boobs these days.

Africa

2008-07-14T23:11:00.000-04:00

Africa my mother land, I miss you. Africa, the rain and the mud I miss you. Africa, the air and the sunshine I miss you. Africa, the road and the gravel I miss you. Africa, the barbeque and the beer I miss you. Africa, the soul and the body I miss you. Africa, I will not to forget you. You are what I am. You are where I want to be. My Africa, I miss you.

April 8th

2008-04-08T20:26:00.000-04:00

We lost yesterday. We were swept. I can barely see. I am exhausted for some reason. When you play a team sport, you actually realize that it is not about you. It is about the team and you never fully realize unless you play the sport. I am happy I joined the team. I have joined the softball team and I go for my first practice tomorrow. I have never ever played softball in my life. For some reason, cricket wasn’t a team sport for me. It was all about me trying to be the best. This was 10 years ago. Maybe this is what we call maturity. I remember playing in the green fields of University of Zambia. Those were some awesome days. I was considered a terror then. It was fun.
Saw the NCAA men’s final yesterday. It was a good game. I slept late. My nets are done for the season. Maybe next year. Hopefully, things will look up. I need to sell my car which I have had for 4 years. Someone buy it from me.

Sunday, April 6th.

2008-04-06T22:39:00.000-04:00

I have been sitting in the same spot for the past 5 hours. I woke up early today and since have read everything I could lay my hands on. Wiki is addictive. I really don’t know how accurate the information is but it is a good way to spend time. It has been a good weekend so far. I drove down a couple of hours down to suburban Philly yesterday. Met up with my buddy gawker. He was kind enough to make me an omelette which was spicy and I paid the price for it later in the day.
Anyways, we drove into Skippack village and then took the Perkiomen trail. It was a lot tougher than the 35 mile bike ride that we did last season. The trail took us through town homes, horse farms, power lines, forest and towns. It was a lot of ups and downs and more ups. It was about 16 miles in total and it was great fun. We finished it in a couple of hours. This summer, I will make sure that I do as many different things as possible. Biking, kayaking, rafting and some running. We are planning to go down to India in August and I would like to lose a few pounds. I don’t want to put a number to it as I tend to disappoint myself every freaking time. Pennsylvania is a very strange state. You get to see the whole spectrum of nature in a radius of 3 miles. It was an awesome day. It started off in the low 50s but the sun was beating down on us which made it comfortable. After these work outs, you tend to be thirsty. Gawker and I decided to go to this micro brewery where they make their own beer. We drank well and ate well too hence over compensating for the calories burnt.
I am back after spending the day watching TV, getting plenty of Andhra styled biryani, watching UCONN lose in the final four in the women’s NCAA, plenty of damn laundry and dinner.
Tomorrow is a very important day. There are a large group of companies that are part of a volley ball league. A bunch of misfits got together and made our team and we aren’t that bad. For me, it’s loads of fun as I never really played the sport while I was growing up. It does build camaraderie which is the main goal. Anyways, we have ended up in the final four and I am pretty sure we are going to get squashed tomorrow. I have to get my sleep.

J

2008-03-25T22:23:00.001-04:00

Remember the best friend that you had? The best friend you would give your life for? Remember the fight you had and you guys just parted ways? Remember that you still missed your best friend but he really didn’t care cos he wanted to move on. Remember that he had a profound impact on your life. Remember how you kept track of how he was doing and felt bad that you couldn’t help him when he was in trouble?
Jason Kidd, I am watching you. You left me, but I am still watching you. I am watching you run around in a Dallas uniform being marginally ineffective as a point guard. I am sure your pride is hurting. I am sure you regret what you did. Life has never been perfect and these imperfections are what creates the journey. I don’t see that steely look in your eyes anymore. I do not see the warrior and I feel bad that you have dipped yourself into the cauldron of mediocrity. The shooting is worse and your weaknesses have been exposed. The west is not being as kind as the east. You are in trouble my friend and you asked for it and I feel the pain because you were my best friend and now you walk your own path.

My blog

2008-03-17T21:17:00.001-04:00

I am jobless. I took a picture of my blog.

Credit Card

2008-03-17T21:13:00.000-04:00

Apparently it wasn’t her. I was checking my credit card bills. Damn scary. I would like to be given a credit card with a limit of 11 grand for the month and anything that I don’t use for that month should be transferred to the next like roll over minutes. Only thing is that someone else unknown to me is paying off the bill on a monthly basis. I would like for this credit card to have a good points program so that I can get free shit. I can stay home and find ways to use the points wisely. My wife can still work if she wants. This credit card should have global access and I can also withdraw money anywhere in the world. The limit should be set to maybe a grand.

Alu something

2008-03-17T20:59:00.001-04:00

I guess I will write for my buddy gawker. I don’t know what to write about. I just got home some time ago and right now listening to the song from gawker’s blog. It is good. I have to start listening to music again. I wonder if L Sub has released any new albums. There was this time when I was so obsessed with him and Jagjit Singh. I used to buy all their albums. I converted so many people.
Mind is as useless as a complete trash can. I am busy accumulating materialistic things. Don’t even know why we need all these gadgets. One day it’s an I-phone and the other day it is a car. Hopefully it will stop and meaning will creep back into certain things that I do. Man, I didn’t know growing up would mean this. This is what I call regressing.
I can’t wait for spring and then summer. Yesterday we were out in a reservation with my family and the dog. I am listening to this song again by Sonu Nigam. The guy has an awesome voice as far as you can ignore the video. He really should get someone else to do his videos. I tried my hand at cooking today after ages. Hopefully the damn thing tastes right. I am waiting for my wife to come home so that I can eat. The amount of money we spend eating outside, I could have bought three more houses. It is bloody ridiculous and has to stop. There are many top less men jumping in circles in this video.

http://goose-egg.blogspot.com/

Whoever is reading this might as well watch the video.
She is home and I am off to chow chow.

Looking for

2008-03-17T20:43:00.002-04:00

Junoon- Azadi
Colonial Cousins- MTV Unplugged

Jason Kidd

2008-03-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

As my team slips into oblivion, I ponder about what I have been feeling for the past 2-3 weeks. Jason Kidd is gone. Jason left me and the remains of my tattered team. A team ill prepared both mentally and physically. Coached by a man who isn’t equipped to deal with the needs of the game. A man whose time has probably come and gone due to the fact that he is running around in circles. Jason Kidd brought respectability to the franchise irrespective of the person that he was. He competed hard on the court and made everyone around him much much better. Jefferson signed a 60 Million dollar deal with the nets. He is worth half the money right now. He looks listless and lost. The hand that fed him has left the building and if he doesn’t figure things out fast, he will be another small forward who played the game but never achieved anything on his own.
I do not blame Kidd for leaving. Every driven man gives it all to what he believes in for a certain period of time. Then, they pack up and leave to a scenario which hopefully will help them get there. We all do it. We all search for that elusive success. For him, being the ring.
I am watching you and I wish you the best. As for me, I watch my team struggle mired in mediocrity and slipping into the lower echelons of the NBA.

Music

2008-01-15T23:12:00.000-05:00

Some day, I would like to play the

Dhol
Guitar
Violin

This is just the beginning.

The bamboo stick

2008-01-12T16:18:00.000-05:00

When you don’t travel around, you will turn out to be an idiot. My childhood contributed to me being the person I am. I feel bad for all those people that I come across who think that India is in Pakistan. I don’t blame them. They probably never even left the tri-state area in their lifetime. When alert people can go numb nuts, average people shouldn’t be blamed for being idiots. Most people have their focus turned on to bigger TVs, better cars, bigger houses and a fat bank balance. I am included in that group of people. Its time to retrospect. Why can’t we stop ourselves? What is this affinity towards materialistic needs? As you get older, do you get worse? I actually don’t like myself at this very moment. I question myself for being what I am but then what am I going to do about it? I still want my 5 series by April and my Bose system for my bedroom.

Every time you travel around this earth, different circumstances teach you different things. If you don’t move around, you pretty much stagnate and absorb whatever crap is thrown at you. I always felt that I won’t move from place to place because I moved through so many places when I was a kid. I need to rethink that feeling. I am lethargic in my mind. What is happening in Darfur? What is happening in Kenya? What is happening in Sri Lanka? What is happening in Iraq? What is happening in Afghanistan? I am pretty sure I don’t know a lot about what is happening in many many other places. I used to know. I used to feel. I used to want to help. Now, I know what the biggest TV in the world looks like.

CES

2008-01-12T16:03:00.001-05:00

I am sitting on my couch and watching some TV with my wife. I am losing in touch with most of my friends. My focus is on work and then my family which leaves me with no time to do anything else. I wish I didn’t have to work for a living. I could enjoy the finer things of life. I wish I had the time to hang out with people whenever and where ever I wanted.
I was at Vegas this past week. I was at the CES show. This damn show is huge. Too many things happening in one place. I don’t understand how people can possibly go to this show and expect something consequential to come out of it. I walked the show for a whole day and it was painful for my feet. Other than that it was pretty good. I got a look at the biggest plasma TV on the planet from Panasonic. I don’t understand the need for a 150 inches plasma TV. I don’t even have a damn wall that big. I guess we want bigger and better things and there is always a market for such product. I got back on Thursday and didn’t go to work as I was jetlagged and pretty exhausted. The weather at Vegas wasn’t too cold but it was actually colder than Jersey.
Life is going on and everything seems to be going fine for the time being. My wife is doing exceedingly well at work and I am proud and happy for her and of course us. The nets are playing ok basketball even though they lost yesterday to the Celtics. I was at the game yesterday and it was a play off like atmosphere. They have Stella there which is good for me. My favorite team sells my favorite beer in its games.
Work is going on. It has its ups and down but tends to even out by the end of the day. The market is volatile on a daily basis and is pretty stressful. To stay on top of it requires focus and a lot of mental strength. It has been good so far and hopefully I can stay on top of things. Don’t know what else to write about. I am cocooned from anything else that is happening on this planet. It is very sad given the fact that I used to make it a point to be aware of everything good and bad happening around. The transformation has completed. I have transformed from this cognizant world citizen to a dumb fucking couch potato with no empathy and sympathy. I have been observing and documenting this change in me over the years. It all started when I came here 8 years ago and now I am more or less done. Dumb as a fucking dodo.

Same story, different season

2007-12-02T20:34:00.001-05:00

The nets are a below average team playing with no energy. It isn’t very difficult to see that. Jason Kidd has slowed down, Vince Carter is a wuss and Richard Jefferson cant do it alone. They are not well coached and their offensive sets are predictable and boring. They need a breath of fresh air. It has to either come from the players, a trade or a change in coaching staff. Either way, something has to come or whatever small numbers of fans they have will be gone. I don’t see the commitment from Kidd for some reason. Either he is bored of trying or just doesn’t have it in him to be the engine running the car. They just got butchered by the Pistons. There seems to be a lack of defensive intensity. There is something happening behind the scenes and there is a lack in chemistry. I bet that it will be out soon with someone blowing their gasket.
Weekend was relaxing and have this dreaded Sunday evening blues because tomorrow is Monday. We went out to JP Lee’s for lunch and it was so so. I wonder why we don’t have a BD’s Mongolian barbeque in Jersey. It will be a great fit for the state and will do well. They have a couple in Michigan, Ohio and one in DC.
It is in low 20s today.

The bLog

2007-12-01T12:13:00.000-05:00

All these blogs and all. When I die, will they be gone? 100 years from now when someone is flipping through the internet and looking through pages that are just lying around, will someone catch my page and read through my life’s instances that were recorded? 500 years from now, will people be reading blogs like India uncut and gawker’s shit and calling it master pieces and pioneers? Crazy, but that’s what is going to happen and I said it first.

Kalik

2007-11-29T13:58:00.000-05:00

When you stop reading, you stop thinking. The brain turns into a black hole with crappy thoughts and negative energy. The thirst for knowledge is key for me to stay stable, happy and interested. I need to start reading again. I haven’t felt like writing in ages for some reason. Consumed by bull shit. Its time to put all into perspective and give joy a chance. You cannot get lost in what you do for a living. You have to put it all into perspective and tailor your life. Perspective is my new favorite word. I still stand by the rule that there is no right or wrong. You make the right or wrong and hopefully you are smart enough to do the right thing.
Passion is a strange animal. You have to learn to rein it and only use it in your own right way. Otherwise, you will end up getting hurt. It is all about fine tuning yourself to the environment that you are in. it is about trying to stay clear of situations. The older you grow, the more you experience and the more you experience, the more you try and figure out a way to be above all the bull shit.
The nets suck as a team. Jason Kidd is falling apart. The will is still there but the body is not able to cope with the manic speed of the game. His support cast is talented but not ready enough. I don’t know if its about practice, lack of coaching or the effort. It’s all showing. It’s a bunch of talented guys with lots of money who are not delivering consistently enough.
Winter is here. I don’t even remember fall. That’s how hectic things have been. Didn’t even get a chance to see the leaves turn yellow. I cant wait for summer. This summer will be exciting and I intend to push the body to the maximum. Last summer was at least a step in the right direction with the biking, kayaking, trekking and traveling. I am at work and I feel like leaving early. Feel like going home. Talking about home, there is still so much to do. We have to still furnish many parts of the house. Talking about the house, taxes come to mind. I am not feeling negative today so I will let that one slide. My taxes are as high as my rent that I used to pay a year ago. Jersey property taxes are ridiculous. Who do I scream at? I I have no clue. I will find someone though.
We were in the Bahamas a couple of weekends ago. It was nice. Very nice. I turned into an alcoholic for the first 2 days of the trip. I am pretty sure I have never drank so much in my entire life. We had been there for a wedding and my wife was smart enough to get an all inclusive hotel with booze and food. I abused my body and by the third day I had stopped. Going back to the wedding, it was amazing. They had rented a private island for the wedding. I will post some pictures of the island at some point of time. We rented a scooter for the evening. Being buzzed and riding a scooter reminded me of my days in Bangalore. My road king and me late in the night zipping through the quite cold Bangalore nights. Anyways, coming back to now, Nassau doesn’t have much to it. There is one main street which runs through the island and then spills over into paradise island via the bridge. You can see the Atlantis as you drive over the bridge into the island. There are tons of other hotels dotting the narrow coast. A sight to see in the day time and at night with all the lights. All in all it was fun. The idea is to go to Zambia early in February. Hopefully, we can do it. I am stopping right now cos I will go and on and on otherwise.

33 miles

2007-09-27T23:49:00.001-04:00

I have never been an athletic kind. For the past month something has triggered me off and I am busy looking for shit to do. I am open to cycling; kayaking, white water rafting and anything that will help me sweat a little and push my body to its limits. This past weekend I did something which I had never even dreamt of doing. It is amazing as to how much your body can take when you don’t expect much from it. My buddy Mr. gawker, who I have known for the past 8 years, also became a convert a few years ago. He had been telling me to get my ass to his town so that we could do some biking.
That’s exactly what happened the last Saturday. My wife was out of town on business for the weekend and I wanted to do something constructive with my time and hence I headed down to a small town near Philly. I left home around 8:15, stopped off on the way to my sister’s place to pick up a bike. I was at gawker’s place by 10ish after a lot of arguments with him over directions. I had told the idiot to give me his address so that I could put it in my GPS but he refused to do so cos he felt that the GPS would take me away from him rather than to him. Anyways, I finally got to his pretty neighborhood. The best thing about going anywhere else other than Jersey is everywhere else is prettier, cleaner and less populated than jersey. It is a good change. I went to gawker’s house. He gave me some Creatin supplement or some bull shit claiming that I would feel as strong as superman in his chaddhi. So, we hung out for some time where I said hi to Mrs Gawker. She wanted to know whether I wanted anything to eat and I said no. Gawker and me headed to dunkin donuts to eat some crap and then we headed towards the Valley Forge trail. I was bloody excited about the whole thing. See, the idea was to bike through the trail which was 20 miles long and end up in downtown Philly. The carrot for us rabbits was the beer at the end of the journey.
Gawker had a clean water bottle for himself which he filled with water. I had forgotten to take mine and he gave me a water bottle which had water from ancient times in it and smelt like shit. Being the warrior that I am I rinsed it with good clean water from the fountain and filled it with water. The weather was cloudy and pleasant and it was perfect. The sun wasn’t there to beat shit out of us and it was all set to the tee. Gawker had gloves for his hands and a gel seat for his arse. He was kind enough to give me his helmet. I guess he gave it to me cos he wasn’t using it and also the fact that he knew that I hadn’t biked in many years and didn’t want me to end up with a cracked skull. We set off on the trail. This trail runs by the Schuylkill River which is beautiful. We started riding like maniacs. At first I was peddling like a mad man and was ahead of our man and then I started getting tired. I also had no clue about the gears and how to handle them but in time got that too. Man perfects by practice and improvisation. Anyways, we set off and after the first couple of miles I was pretty tired and then I started slowing down. Then I realized that I had to be consistent and not ride like a pea brain. Slowly I got my bearing and then we started functioning at a healthy pace with him in front of me by 100 yards. He has done this trail many a times and seemed to be pretty comfortable on his ride. Me, on the other hand was doing good but my palms and my buttocks were killing me. My palms cos of the weight on the handle bar and my butt because the seat was violating me. All said and done, after a while I got used to the whole discomfort and we continued on. The trail wound here and there and there and here. It was awesome. The peace was good. The mind is almost in a trance while the physical body is consistently churning out energy. We stopped for a pee brake somewhere half way and then set out again. At the 16th mile, we stopped at the famous Manayunk brewery and this is where we committed out first sin and mistake. Being the knuckle heads we were and beer lovers we were, we ended up having a couple of beers. We set off again and got to the end of the trail which was by the arts museum in downtown. Gawker wanted me to to do the whole thing. He congratulated me and was proud to be my friend. He said that he was amazed I could do it. From there we set off in the quest for getting lunch and some more beer. We met up with a friend of mine for lunch at the triumph brewery on Chestnut Avenue. We had a couple of beers, some food and a lot of conversation with the lady and her husband across our table. Apparently she was half Punjabi and half Canadian and her husband was a goumba from Jersey. After we were done eating, we bid adieu to my friend and the couple we met and began cycling again through downtown Philly. We took the train back to Norristown and then biked back to the beginning of the trail. All in all, he told me that it was 33 miles and I was happy with the number. He now says that it is anywhere between 30 and 33 miles. I will leave it at 33 miles because I like the higher number and my sense of accomplishment is greater at 33 miles rather than 30. The beer didn’t do good things to us. I had a bloody headache the whole day and apparently gawker was all cramped up too because of the dehydration. 4 beers did it to us. The next time, we will not be repeating the same mistake. We are going kayaking this weekend and hopefully it is as much fun and demanding on the body. This kind of pain is beautiful and makes it all worth while. The next day my butt was hurting pretty bad. I was ok with everything else. So all you lazy farts out there who think they cant do stuff like this please wake up and smell the coffee. It is fun. Youth doesn’t stay around for a long time. Make the best use of it.
If you want to know more about gawker my eccentric friend, please visit

http://goose-egg.blogspot.com/

I am surprised he didn’t write his version of our journey through the trail, Philly and back. If I had failed in this endeavor, he would have run home and written all kinds of shit about me. I should thank him though for inspiring me to do this. If it weren't for him, i for sure wouldn't have tried.
In a couple of weeks, we intend doing 50 miles on a bike.

Oriental hegemony?

2007-09-13T23:08:00.000-04:00

I am staying up and I am waiting. I am waiting for the market. I am waiting for the market to make up its mind in Taiwan so that business can be conducted. The roles are long reversed. We in the US wait for them to determine what and how much should be sold and then we fight and speculate all day long. At least the money is still here. For the time being eh?

Elephant and Economics

2007-09-11T23:23:00.000-04:00

Everyone is talking freaking simple economics. Everyone is talking supply and demand. Everyone is speculating. I heard something in a high profile meeting from a high profile guy. “I am more comfortable with three guys guessing the same thing rather than one”. Sums it all up. Everyone is guessing in some form or the other. All these different circumstances intertwined in each forms “the market”. Each market is unique to its own situation and is governed by latent as well as blatant connotations. You have the players working the market and pushing it in the direction that they want. The smaller players follow the pack. Everyone is under the assumption that someone else knows more than them. The someone else who knows better than them rolls the dice based on that fact that they have the money to spend. Money makes money and the rest of the idiots follow suit. The market leaders gain the most and also stand to lose the most. Like the titanic they sink or rise like the phoenix. Sometimes, the bigger players are so big that nothing makes a difference. It is a drop in the ocean. The bigger you are, the easier it is to stay big. Like an elephant trudging along and crushing anything along its path.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

2007-09-06T21:32:00.001-04:00

Anyone know about him? He has been on my mind off late. Can he give me some answers? As I continue to live a life consumed by crappy materialistic needs I feel the pain. People continue to live and die in extreme hardship. How can one start to make a difference in this unfair unfair world? How? Tell me how? Tell me where to look and who to look at? Being a cynic really doesn’t help. Everyone on this world has a fucking agenda. Every human being knowingly or unknowingly has one. We should all be reprogrammed. Like an IC which is programmed to perform in a system. To be programmed into being productive and being a positive on this mother earth. I am blabbering. I need to be in touch with reality.

These are the things i say at work on the floor.

2007-09-06T21:18:00.000-04:00

Fuck you
Market is in the shitts
Bastard
Bloody Hell
Are you fucking kidding me?
He must be on crack.
The market is full of crap
What?
How much?

I am foul mouthed. I probably will get fired for being a brash shit head. Its all cool now but things become uncool as easily as they are cool.

Labor Day

2007-09-06T21:17:00.001-04:00

Something ain’t right. Something is missing somewhere. The motivation and the spark is low. I am watching Justin Timberlake in MSG on HBO. Pretty decent. I was very prejudiced regarding his talent. The guy seems to be pretty damn good. He sounds like Michael Jackson at times. He dances well and this show that he put on is pretty cool with good music and all. Work is going on.
When you have most of the things too soon in life you go out there looking for something else to do to fill that void. It has been 3 weeks since I came back from Bangalore but it seems like a lifetime ago.
Last weekend was pretty decent. My wife and I decided to go to central park and hang out there on Saturday. We had some brunch by the lake side restaurant. Pretty expensive it was but it was good. We wanted to take a row on the boat but those guys didn’t accept anything but cash and I didn’t have any and hence we didn’t go boating. Instead we slept on the grass while she was reading some stuff. After that we went downtown and did some furniture looking. We went to this wholesale place to see if we could get a bed set for our master bedroom but we didn’t find anything interesting. After that we came back to jersey and then ended up going to circuit city and we got poorer cos we bought a nice 40 Inch LCD TV for our bedroom. We dumped it into our truck and then went and got some Thai. My cousin was with us. We picked up some Stella along the way as it has become my favorite beer. We had some Stella and some Thai. We got home pretty early and hit the sac as we had something lined up for Sunday.
Sunday we were up by 8:30 and we got ready. The idea was to take the train to the city and then take the subway into the US open in queens. I decided against it and wanted to drive. I wanted to check the parking situation and realized that there was construction happening at the open parking lot and hence it was going to be shitty. The arrangement was that we would park at the Shea stadium and then walk across to the USTA. I decided against it and hence the three of us rushed to the train station and took the train to NYC Penn station. My wife is an expert in travel around the city and we left it in her able hands. We left home at 9:30 and we were at the open by 11:30. Oh man! What seats they were. I was fortunate enough to get court side tickets. We got to watch Serena, Venus and Nadal play on Sunday from the second row. It was an awesome experience. The beer, the atmosphere and the seats made it all worthy. We were stupid enough not to carry any hats with us and we were burnt to crisp. I am dark and fat now. We ended up going to my wife’s office. It was pretty cool even though I was grumbling all the way. I wanted to be home for some reason and I have no clue why. I pretty much behave like a spoilt brat when things don’t go my way and my wife does well to remind me about the same. Maybe some day I will learn to be a little more considerate wholeheartedly. By the way, I think I am one of the fastest guys on the earth to type with two fingers. We came home and then started assembling the sleek stand that we got for our TV. I must thank my cousin for being patient and hanging out with us and helping us finish the whole damn thing. We were done at around 3 in the night thanks to some out of the box thinking by both my wife and my cousin. The only thing I am probably good is my job. I suck at the rest and am a pretty one dimensional person. Monday was a nice and relaxed day. We tried lunch at some shitty Indian restaurant where the service was horrible. We went to my sister’s place and hung out there for some time. Came home and did a lot of stuff. All in all it was a very productive weekend.
I wish I could watch Tendulkar batting in this English series. It is like the candle which burns brightly before it goes out forever. I wish the man well. He has conducted himself with poise and dignity. A perfect role model to people who want to achieve things that mere mortals do not or are not capable of thinking off. This guy JT is pretty good and has a good ensemble of artists complimenting him.
Peace out and fuck you money.

you are

2007-08-19T12:25:00.000-04:00

Do you love the company you work for? Do you feel that you own part of it? Do you feel that you are responsible for its well being?
You don’t get paid for feeling that way and you certainly don’t own it. But still you have all these feelings. Then you most probably enjoy your job and are treated damn well in that space. You are good at what you do and probably one of the best out there.

What a cocky bastard.

From the garden city to the garden state.

2007-08-16T22:07:00.001-04:00

People still continue to use the word “dude” as the economy crashes and burns. The housing market has been in the doldrums for over a year now. Maybe I should have waited till now; I would have probably gotten a better deal. Back to Jersey. Back to work and back to reality. Gas is cheaper from the time I left and work is the same. It is not that hot right now.
I get these sudden flashes of brilliance when I am driving and hence cannot record them on paper. I try and remember what I thought about but I can’t afterwards. I have to watch Parzania. I think Sarika is an extremely sexy woman. Pity they both didnt last together.

Time to leave

2007-08-10T14:03:00.000-04:00

I am leaving Bangalore tomorrow. The 2 weeks have flown by like the wind and it is time to go back home. I leave with a heavy heart because of certain people i leave behind even though it is only temporary. This life that we all live has its own twists and turns. Some good, some bad and some god knows what. There are no answers to most things. Emotions are all that we have.

shah rukh

2007-08-10T01:00:00.000-04:00

For all the venom i spew against Shah Rukh, i would give it to him for the fact that he speaks pretty darn well. He says the right things and is pretty evolved with his thinking. I still think he over acts and is over rated. I am still in Bangalore.

dude

2007-08-10T00:58:00.000-04:00

People, please stop using the word "dude". Its pretty fucking irritating. I feel like slapping people on the face.

Garden city

2007-08-08T06:11:00.000-04:00

The first few days i didnt step out due to certain circumtances. The past couple of days i have been going out a little even though i am more or less confined to South Bangalore. Its not that bad. The weather is perfect. It is absolutely gorgeous with no need for fan or AC. Since i havent gone out much the pollution hasnt gotten to me either. I have left the house only during non peek hours and at those times, Bangalore still seems to be the same sleepy awesome town that it was 10 years ago. Every damn auto driver talks to me in Hindi and i answer in Kannada. There is a large influx of people from different parts of the country coming in for the vast opportunities that lie within. Basavanagudi largely remains the same. Old Bangalore is so saturated that change is highly unlikely.
I have been eating away as usual but am watching my food. We have this digital weigh scale at home and i am literally watching the grams. I have to lose weight and not gain anymore.
People you grew up with are in very prosperous positions right now. People in the their late 20s and early 30s are doing really well. They were all in the market at the right time and most of them have taken advantage of the booming opportunities. Bangalore has some major issues. One of them being that the roads are not big enough. The volume of traffic is so high that it clogs the roads. I have no bloody clue as to how these guys are going to cater to the ever increasing traffic. Most people can afford to buy cars now in the city and most people will do so. I am at a loss to understand exactly where it is leading to and how it will be handled. There is no space to increase the breadth of roads unless they start enroaching upon private properties. I wonder how people will react to that.
Sanjay Dutt is in jail and Salman might be following him too with the poaching issue. Tomorrow, the third and final test starts and Kevin Peiterson might not be playing. Shah Ruk's Chak de India is all over the damn TV. Amitabh and Sarika won awards for Black and Parzania repectively. All news readers for some odd fucking reason use the word 'right" before they start any sentence. I dont know where the hell that came from. "Right, lets talk to Shah Rukh about his beard and how we can give you one too."
Media is as obesessive about things as back in the US. When the guy Haneef was coming back from Australia, every damn channel was showing us something about him and something about his family. The other day i saw an interview between someone here and Trishala( sanjay dutt's daughter). It was one of the most ridiculous interviews that i ever heard off with absolute bull shit questions. I think it was on CNN-IBN. I was under the impression that we as peoples were a little more intelligent than that and were looking for deeper questions and deeper answers. I remember those days when all that existed was DD and a bunch of news papers. I pity the kids these days. They get to watch absolute horse crap. The executives sitting in their cushy offices need to bring out content which does propogate stupidity but content that makes people think and for them to evolve. Its fucking sad. What needs to be understood is that minds of those future citizens of the nation are being shaped by all this shit.
Other than that, i haven't been to too many places. I have been working at times. I havent been to the so called happening places this time and i dont think i will either. I visited FAB India a couple of times and spent a lot of money there. I buy all this shit which i will never wear again.

Blah

2007-07-29T14:45:00.000-04:00

I am in Bangalore right now. I was supposed to be spending the weekend at Atlantic City, relaxing and cleaning the house. Life on the other hand had other plans for me.
I look around here and I seriously cannot relate to this place anymore. I am not a cocky NRI but just an asshole who never spent too long in one particular place and hence don’t swear my allegiance to any place but Jersey which is home now. Bangalore was one of them cos my parents happened to be from here. I have been here for the past 2 days. I don’t like it one bit. Fuck you guys who don’t know what a line/queue is and fuck you guys who don’t know how to say please, thank you and excuse me

I miss the season

2007-07-23T19:41:00.001-04:00

I just realized something. When the nets aren’t playing I don’t have much to write about. I am not inspired to write about anything. I can’t draw parallels between a game and a situation in life when the game itself isn’t being played. The Indians are playing cricket but I hardly care anymore.
I have a dream. I have a dream that I will win 93 Million dollars with the lottery ticket that I have been planning to buy for the past 5 years. I will get to it when the time is right. I am scared of gambling and lottery tickets.

Travelling zambezi

2007-07-22T23:59:00.000-04:00

I was in San Jose this past week on business. The weather was awesome. It felt like the gods were smiling all the time. I don’t think this traveling shit is for me. I would rather be at my desk, make things happen then and there. Schmoozing isn’t my forte. Cynicism is something I have to shake off. Appreciating now is most important. I tend to forget that. It is all about perception. What you are perceived is what you are.
Exciting times at work happening. The next big step in career is happening. What fucking next though? What am I looking for? It all feels the same after a little while. I have to take my blog off the internet. I might actually do it soon. Its not fun letting people in anymore.
Other than, this whole summer has been a travel fest. Boston, Toronto, Ann Arbor, Ellicott city, Germantown, San Jose, Pocono. I think I want to slow down. I think I want to stay home and watch the Indian show on Saturday mornings. I think I want to walk around my community, I think I want to take a swim. I think I want to start running again. I want to slow down. I don’t want to talk anymore. I want it to be as it was. I want it to be happier and slower.
Udit Narayan and Adnan Sami have got to stop singing Telugu songs. It sounds pretty damn pathetic. The past weekend, my wives friends were here to celebrate her birthday. A good 10 of them. It was fun and it was refreshing. They are good peoples. I did the whole NYC tourism thing again and visited the Rockefeller and went up for the first time. The city looked pretty spell binding. We did a lot of Kati roll eating and walking around. We all came back, changed went to Nan King in Jersey City and then went back into the city. I must say company makes the game.
End of this month, it is going to be eight years since I came into the country. This is my home and as I have said numerous number of times, this is the longest I have ever been in one place. I am comfortable in my space and in my surroundings. It is eight years. I remember four of us sharing a one bedroom apartment as we couldn’t afford any better. We all could if we extended our hands out to our parents but we didn’t. None of us did. We managed with what we had and we enjoyed life too. I remember the measly 400 dollar stipend. I remember life working in the library and then in the computer lab. I remember having beer for dinner! I remember my masters being a fresh breath of air. I remember all those passionate young men and women out to save the world with their diplomatic degrees. I remember those numerous discussions at the UN. I remember the weekly ride into the city to the UN for my Monday classes. I remember the walks to the UN from Penn station with my good buddy Rick. I remember those rides back to South Orange and then to the local bars. I remember shaking hands with Kofi Annan after he spoke at school. I remember being involved in many presentations involving blood diamonds. I remember writing my thesis on sustainable development. I remember writing about using the internet as a tool for a farmer in southern Africa. I remember going to DC to interview with the World Bank. I remember the feeling of almost being there. I remember the late night walks from school to my apartment in Newark. I remember falling many a times on my ass as I walked home and the side walk was frozen. I remember hating life as I almost froze when I walked home in the winter storms. I remember all of us helping each other cook. I remember waiting for the 31 bus to take me the Newark Penn Station and then back to my sister’s place in Woodbridge. I remember buying my first car. I remember buying my second, third, fourth and now fifth car. I can go on and on and on. I did not struggle. I waltzed through life. I have had a lucky life so far. Writing this blog has been therapeutic and now I am feeling a lot better and am out of the blues. Who the hell am I to complain? I am thirty and I am married. We own a house and I am doing well at work and so is she. All my loved ones are doing fine given the circumstances and the cards that have been previously dealt.
I think I need to sleep.

Friends

2007-07-06T19:14:00.000-04:00

Friends come and go. You forget and move on. The older you get, the smaller the circle. People you felt immense love and affection for, dont exist in your life anymore. All of us walking our own paths and refusing to cross each other. Stupid stupid human beings.

Don't be scared

2007-07-06T19:13:00.001-04:00

Everytime you are intimidated by someone remember that they shit the same way you do. They are as vulnerable as anyone that walked this earth. Be strong, we are all equals.

Whatever

2007-07-06T19:10:00.000-04:00

It has been ages since i wrote something. Dont feel the urge to do so anymore. The longer you stay in the business world, the less you feel about what is happening around you. Sad but true.

?

2007-04-23T23:06:00.000-04:00

It would be nice if there was spring in between winter and summer. First it was bloody cold and now it is going to be bloody hot that soon. Maybe I should import some nice clean weather from Lusaka. We won the first game and I am interested in seeing how the raptors react and how we counter act. This is the last season that the three of them will be together. I need to buy a new car. I need to get to the point where I want to spend the money. Maybe I should buy a bike and keep my car. Maybe I should buy a nice car and forget about the bike. Do I really like bikes? I don’t know. Am I too old for bikes? Who knows? I can never decide anything with conviction. I don’t even know if I have an opinion at times. Sad. I don’t believe anything happens for a reason. I believe everything happens without reason. Such is life. That could possibly be the answer to life. What is the point of having an opinion when there is no logic for most things in life?

Nets Vs Raptors

2007-04-20T20:22:00.000-04:00

The play offs begin tomorrow. The Nets will be playing the Raptors at Toronto. Till a couple of weeks ago, we didn’t know if we would be making the play offs and now we are the 6th seed with a decent possibility of going into the conference semi finals and maybe even the conference finals. The only hurdle at the end of the road is Detroit which is a strong, stable and effective team. The eastern conference has too many scatter brain teams including the nets but excluding the pistons. So, on any given day, anyone can beat anyone and get anywhere. Hence, the chances of making it all the way to the conference finals look pretty possible from where I am sitting at. I have all through the season blamed Carter for not being man enough. I have also said that he doesn’t have a heart of a champion like Jason Kidd does. In the season finale, Jason with his hustle proved that he was the heart and soul of the nets. His energy translated into steals, fast break points and a miserly defense. Chicago was in disarray all through the game and couldn’t really catch up.
Tomorrow begins the final test for Carter. The time for him to stand up and play like a champion. To carry a team on his shoulders and not let the boos shut him up. He cannot come out subdued and cannot defer to the other champion. He has to take the bulls by the horn. The first game will set the tone for the series and most importantly point towards which side things will lean. I am an eternal optimist. I hope and pray that Carter grows big cohonas and beats the shit out of the raptors. Not in a crazy maniacal way but in a cool composed way. That’s the only way we will win.

Haarverd

2007-04-09T16:19:00.000-04:00

This weekend we went out again. Trying to live up to the resolution made that we will not sit at home anymore. We were supposed to travel to Maryland over the weekend but that didn’t pan out as all parties involved were not up to it. So, wifey and me decided to make it to Boston for the weekend. We also decided to invite two of our good friends along. For some strange reason, I didn’t want to go on Friday even though we took off and we left only on Saturday. I have no clue why I was adamant to leave only on Saturday. Sometimes, I do things which I do and I have no clue why I do and I question it only afterwards.
So, we were supposed to leave at 9 in the morning but ended up leaving around 12ish after stopping at a bloody rest area and eating at Burger king. We stuffed ourselves with crap and set out on our journey towards New England. We were there by 4 in the evening and my wife pointed towards a tall ass building in downtown and asked me to drive towards it. In no time, we ended up in the parking lot of prudential center. It said public parking and I was very happy as anything public is usually free. Apparently it was not. It was a rip off. Anyways, we got into the building and made our way through the Pru center as one of my friends I met in Boston called it. The stores were all bloody expensive and I spent my time salivating by the windows of the Tag Heuer store. One day, I have got to get myself one of those. So my friend and me followed our respective wives around as they spoke to the customer service girl and planned the evening. Apparently, we wanted to have brunch the following day at the restaurant on top of this big ass building. The four of us headed by lift to the zillionth floor to make a booking for the next day brunch. The entrance was the closest we got to the restaurant and I cant remember the name. It was top of the deck or something or sounded close to that. For Easter weekend they had a special Easter brunch starting off at 70 bucks a pop. I am happy that we all decided not to go ahead with this ridiculous proposition. I am happy to note that my friends are as smart as me when it comes to money and do not like throwing it around. We hastily returned to the lift and headed literally back to earth. After that, the wives again decided that the duck tour through Boston on a Sunday blistery morning would be the best way to move ahead in life. They made the booking for the next day morning ride and then we drove to Harvard which is just a few miles away. This involved a drive via Mass Avenue into Harvard square. We were lucky enough to get parking at Harvard square. We embarked on a walk into the great seat of learning. The architecture is pretty unique with a beautiful old school setting. There were brilliant people all around carrying their IQs in a bag. There were tons of unique stores along Mass Avenue. It was cold but it was fun.
We ended up meeting with some friends of my wife. They were at this wine place which was a little too high class for me. There was nothing I could really eat or drink there. So, I settled for a cup of coffee. We spoke for a little while and then we split. We walked towards this so called restaurant which was supposed to be good. “Bombay Club”. I really didn’t care. All I cared was that it had a bar. Ended up waiting at the bar and drinking a royal horse from UB. It was a little too light for my liking. We finally found a table and the food was good and all and I am getting tired of typing.
We did plenty of good stuff which involved a duck tour through Boston. Before I forget, I like Boston. I like the culture and I like the hepness about it. I like the way everything looks pristine and thoroughly original. By the way, jersey is a confirmed shit hole. Maybe, we should move to Boston where I can go to Harvard on a bike and my wife can work as a librarian making 12-15 bucks an hour and living in a single bedroom apartment. It seems to be a place which can inspire and guide you towards a higher place. There seems to be so much of history to this place. Plus, I love the accent and I always have. Haarverd, i love you.

Another one bites the dust

2007-04-02T19:26:00.000-04:00

Another one bites the dust. Anil Radhakrishnan Kumble has announced that he will be hanging up his boots at least from one day cricket. Good for him. As Mukul Kesavan said in his blog, the Indian one day team actually didn’t deserve him. They didn’t deserve that hard working middle class boy from Bangalore. The ugly duckling that turned into a swan with an amazing attitude and even more incredible work ethic. I love the guy. In the mid 90’s when I was growing up in Bangalore, one of my very good friends was Kumble’s neighbor. His house was located by the Yediyur lake in Jayanagar. It was a typical old Bangalore styled house with red oxide floors and all. By that time, he had already been doing well and had moved out on his own to Wadia road where I think he still lives with his wife and kids. Anyways, coming back to his parent’s house, he was a product of that house. He belonged to a typical middle class family with certain uniqueness to him. He was humble and strong. He never took anything for granted and remembered where he came from. All through out his career, he never got anything handed to him on a platter. He had to fight for what ever he achieved and you could see that he wanted to be there. Every time he took the field to bowl, I remember the look on his face. Those steely eyes, that concentration on the wicket and most importantly a constant thinking mind. He was always trying different things. His consistency amazed me time and again. Him and McGrath were known for their consistency. Every bowl he bowled, you had to play it no matter what. If you were not confident about what foot you want to be on, you were bound to be out. It was tough to read the pitch of the ball as it would hurry to you at a pace which made it difficult to decide where you should and what shot you should be playing. I think Srinath once said that he was a spinner in a fast bowler’s body. He had the aggression and commitment to the wicket. I remember how at one point of time we had atleast 6 players from Karnataka in the one day team. Kumble, Srinath, Prasad, Dravid, Dodda Ganesh and David Johnson. I don’t think Dravid was around at that time.
Let me get back to now. Kumble again is one of my last connections to the game of cricket. One of the guys I can relate to as my own. A few remain and the chord will then be finally cut. I hope players learn to play cricket and carry themselves like this man. Never said a wrong word and never did the wrong thing. Always enjoyed what he did and was a shining example. I wish you well and I hope you come back a commentator as I know that your language is impeccable and your brains are sharp. You will provide valuable insight to the game with your sophistication and thought process. Guys like Kumble end up doing well no matter what they do. They are not enormously talented but have the basic drive to achieve and to compete. He will be back in some other avatar in which he shall excel. It’s a given.

Eddie. where art thou?

2007-03-29T21:41:00.000-04:00

Last night I was at the game between the nets and pacers where Eddie House got walloped by a 250 pound monster. He is out for the season with a torn hip muscle and a mild concussion. This was the last thing we needed in an already bleakish season.
So, the bet thing at work is over where I was supposed to lose 10 % of my body weight to win the competition. I didn’t win. I just lost 5 pounds over the past 3 months and I didn’t even try. Three guys won and one of them even lost 25 pounds of his weight. This guy who I don’t know very well looks a lot younger and happier. Moral of the story is, the thinner you are, the better you look.
My friends are all having kids. The cycle of life is awesome. Friends who you grow up with, friends who were monkeys and kids themselves at one point of time have made their own. Now they will love, feel the love, feel the untapped emotions within. Awesome and more awesome.
When do you know that you are ready to have children? I guess no one ever knows. It just happens. All in good time I guess.
Work is going fine. It’s a nice feeling these days. Oh, I forgot mention SPRINGGGGGGGG.
Bloody spring is here and there is a spring to everybody’s step. Everyone is happy, radiant and friendly. The depressing winter jackets are gone. The layers and layers of clothes are gone. The darkness is gone. The sun looks on at you and reminds you what a beautiful earth we live on and how we need to keep it as pristine as we can. The air is fresh and crisp in the morning as I walk from the parking lot into the office. I wish I walked a lot more. I wish I woke up earlier and let the sun shine on me. I wish wasn’t as lazy as I am right now. I wish I could make a change. Maybe this year it will be different? Maybe this year I will do some running and make my heart move around a little? I just got a call from my tax guy. I wish I didn’t have to pay taxes and I lost my mood to be positive

None

2007-03-19T23:12:00.000-04:00

It’s never the size of the deal. All deals are the same. If you approach it that way, you are bound to succeed and not die of a heart attack along the way.
World cup is happening. Who was I fooling? I was under the impression that I was losing interest in the game of cricket. Apparently I am as crazy as I was when I was younger. Even though I wasn’t watching, I was still checking the score every few minutes. Pakistani cricket is going through a bad time. It’s a damn shame that Woolmer had to die this way. My prayers are with his family. It’s a damn shame that Inzy had to leave like this. Time will heal.

Einstein? I don't think so.

2007-03-19T20:37:00.000-04:00

The world of business is addictive. Bottom line to this phenomenon is supply and demand. Within this simple process lies millions and billions of ideas, epiphanies and implementations. The line between right and wrong is usually very thin. Key to success is information. The more information you have, the more successful you are. You would be amazed to discover how many human beings are actually nincompoops. Most people don’t see the bigger picture. Most people don’t take a step back and look at the whole thing. There in lies the key to success, mediocrity and failure. The ability to captivate, capitalize and process the bigger picture. Very few able minded people are there and those are the ones that pull the wool over people with less ability to have the patience and common sense. You don’t have to be a genius to do well in business. But, you have to be smart enough to catch the nuances of human behavior. It is not about companies, it is about the people.

Karmic Budha

2007-03-05T23:31:00.000-05:00

We all live in very strange times. Everyone is out there to prove a point. It is all about the money. There are many parallel worlds that exist which we are not aware of or we tend to lose sight of. As you get older, life gets mundane and you are absorbed into this abyss of mediocrity of thought and actions. You lack the fresh ability to create and feel the zeal. You get to work, put your head down and get into that synchronized behavior which governs your inner fabric of process and achievement. You put in your best on a daily basis and wait for it to catch up and finally you want it to be a bang where you are extremely successful money wise and power wise.
It could all be blown away in a second. You could miss the road to bliss by a blink and be dead because someone was digging their nose and not paying attention and drove straight into your car. It is a world where permutations and combinations of situations are constantly working in a web and nothing has a reason, rhyme or karmic value to it. You are an entity that is subject to different levels of all these mentioned situations and you can get anywhere and be anything. The intent is to get there and that could be either up, down or in the middle.
We all have to wake up and smell the coffee. We all have to put our face down, work with that innate fabric of behavior and hope for the best.
Over the weekend my wife sent me to buy Toor Daal and milk at the Indian store close to my place. I was about to pay for my stuff when I saw the Hajmola bottle just by the check out counter. That is the wrong bloody place to keep hajmola. Especially for addicts like me. I have always had a weakness for Hajmola, Swad and that Mango chutney shit that I used to eat when I was a kid.
The nets season has been a huge disappointment. Some human beings with their action, conviction and timing are destined to be great while others are just plain ordinary. No matter what talent he brings to the court every time he is on it, Vince Carter is just an ordinary boy in an amazing man’s body. He is weak, indecisive and lacks the commitment of the mind to single out his path. He can never ever carry a franchise like Kidd did those 2 years. So, we shall wait for them to sink into mediocrity, get rid off him in the off season and hopefully give it one more shot.
Work is going good. Billionaires are human beings too. All he did was put his head down, took the fabric of work head on and let things happen. I learn from him and all I can hope for the best. I haven’t felt like writing in quite a while. Don’t know why. I guess I am tired by the end of the day and consumed by living life. As I keep reminding myself on a regular basis, it is time to slow down as usual and time to regulate my life, my time on this earth. Goodnight as I need to get my precious 8 hours.

The shit hit the fan and i smiled.

2007-02-12T22:44:00.000-05:00

I am lying on my bed and am typing. I need to get a recliner in my bedroom so that I can do as I please without twisting my neck off.
Optimism is a great virtue. The whole of last week was a week from hell. I was sick and I was working long hours. I am in a very unique position at work. I have no boss but my boss thinks he is my boss. Today, I was happier and lighter on my feet. The uncomfortable stuffy feeling is gone. I am optimistic again and my smile is back.
I even wore a yellow vest to work today after probably 3 years. I am beginning to feel comfortable in my new company. I have been here 10 months. My true colors are coming out. I am fighting change, I am change and I am facilitating change. I took my nyquill medication a half hour ago and the medication is slowly beginning to filter itself into my being. I have to finish this blog before that. I woke up today with a sprained neck but I was still happy.
The downstairs is all done. I look around the master bedroom. It has an ironing board, a small 20 Inch tv on the ground and a mattress on which we sleep. That’s it. The second bedroom is fully furnished and the den is empty. My house is sufficiently empty. Optimism is an awesome feeling. I can feel the buzz right now and my clogged nose hopefully will dry out with this medication. I haven’t blogged in a while. Don’t know what the hell to write about. All I can say is that we all evolve. Evolution is an unmatched phenomenon which drives us human beings to improvise and survive be it the corporate world or be it life. I for one don’t see a difference in life either at work or at home. You evolve and you grow. Sometimes you repeat the same mistakes because you just don’t fucking care. But, then at other times you are aware. You are aware of where you stand in life and what you have to do to stand in a better place. My sprained neck hurts but I am still fine.

Random Buddha

2007-01-26T20:22:00.001-05:00

So, it has been about 3 weeks since we started that stupid bet thing at work. The first week I lost 4 pounds. The second week another 1 pound and now it is at a constant. I eat like a Somalian and have been doing it for the past 3 weeks. It sucks to eat salad for lunch and then eat half of what you are supposed to eat for dinner. Added to that the stress of work really gets me all screwed up. So far so good, another 15 pounds to go and 2 months to do it. Now is the time to start exercising. I thought of going out for a jog this week but the weather gods said fuck you, stay home and hide in a corner. It is bloody cold out side and if I do go running, I will probably suffocate to death in my own frozen mucous.
Other than that, same shit different day. It is a Friday evening and I am sitting around waiting for my wife to come home. We will probably go out somewhere for dinner or something. Shall see. It is kind of depressing. The nets have lost three in a row on the west coast and they have lost all games they should have won. They lost all the three games to buzzer beaters. Pretty sad that Jason is playing at this level and we are still getting screwed. The basketball gods are watching and something is going to give. Rod Thorn is also watching and his face pretty contorted as it already is, is getting worse. Something is going to give again.
In winter it is pertinent that you own a car that is reliable and that wont die on you. My Mazda is 90,000 miles old. I am in a dilemma. We bought an SUV which wifey takes about 6 months ago. I kind of decided that I would run my Mazda to the ground and then buy myself a pretty 3 or 5 series BMW. Then, I decided that I would buy another crappy Japanese car and also buy a nice 1100 cc for the summer. Now, I don’t know what I want to do anymore. Freaking idiot- the more you make, the more ways you look to spend the money.
Tomorrow we have to go to the mall. I have a closet full of things that I have bought and need to return for either a bigger size or smaller size. I do this all the time. I never try things on in the store. I am too lazy to do it and at the end of the day, I end up collecting shit that doesn’t fit me and I don’t even return the damn things. I am bored.
This ORKUT thing is pretty amazing. I have people contacting me from 2 million years ago. From the time I used to wear tight maroon jeans with bell bottoms and silk shirts which would make a gay man want me even now. I actually used to think I was cool. Coming back to Orkut, pretty darn awesome.
Every where I look around marriages are falling apart. Good friends who had all their shit together when we were much younger are trying to figure things out again from scratch. It is very sad. Marriage is a gamble and has always been. The difference is that these days, we Indians seem to think we have choices that includes walking away. Anyhoo, who am I to comment on it? I don’t probably realize their predicament. It is sad though. People have to work together to make anything work.
Back to bullshit, I am still waiting for her and I am hungry. Maybe I should order for some Tom Yum Soup. My freaking 2nd floor is freezing. There seems to be a problem with the front door and the back door. The insulation isn’t good enough and there is a heavy draft seeping through rendering the heating system useless. The third floor is like an oven. It is a healthy mixture of the draft and the heating system probably not being effective enough. I might probably freeze and die will typing. Work is stressing me out and I need to try and revitalize myself by changing whatever I need to, to make myself better. Maybe some exercise. Same lazy ass procrastination which has plagued me for years.
What else is happening? Global warming is happening. It has been a pretty weird winter thus far and I am yet to come to terms with it. Does anyone know when the Sopranos and Entourage coming back? Maybe I should disconnect cable? The cable bill makes me puke into the envelope and send it right back. Why is everything so expensive? Why is Jersey such a shit hole? Well, she just called and she will be here only by 9. so, there goes our Friday night. A couple of weeks ago, we went to the Buddha Bar in the city. It was pretty damn cool. The music was good and all. The only thing was that it was packed and people were walking on each other. I would rather stay in my jersey and hang out in a place where you have a little more space.
This is a just a freaking random post.

Tendulkar, Jason Kidd, Kumble and Dravid

2007-01-08T22:23:00.000-05:00

When Tendulkar, Dravid and Kumble leave the international scene, so will my connection to the world of cricket. When Jason Kidd retires, will I continue to follow basketball?

The Bet

2007-01-07T23:31:00.000-05:00

How do you create your past on paper? How do you create a picture that actually depicts every single detail of a certain time in life that was full of fun and crazy behavior? Maybe someday I will gather the patience, the thoughts and then pen it down. Not today. One day, I will probably get there. I am just hanging out by wife as she has been constantly working away with her team off shore which means Bangalore. I have listened to 2 songs from Bas Ek Pal for the past 2 hours on a non stop basis and I will listen to it a few more times till she finishes her work. I need to wake up in the morning as usual and get my ass to work. Since I am just wasting space and time on the earth I might as well talk about the bet that is happening at work. Certain slightly over weight people including myself have gotten together. We (25 of us) weighed in on Thursday. We have three months and we have to lose 10% of our body weight by then. Your buy in for the bet is 25 bucks. If you are the only one who wins at the end of the three months you get to keep 25X25 $ with you and if you have say probably 5 winners, you share the total amount amongst yourselves and so on and so forth. I weighed in at 200 Lbs. for my height I look well built. Well, under that well built look lies a few pounds of adipose tissue and my goal is to lose the 10% by then. The secret lies in eating half of what I eat and finding a connection between my stomach meter and my brain as that doesn’t seem to exist and I eat far too much than I can handle. So, I am hereby activating it and am hopefully will get somewhere close to that weight. I don’t expect to win but I at least want to compete and try and make a difference when I weigh in 3 months now.
I am done for the night. Too much writing and too many mood swings. I have written from treating people like shit because they belong to the Quixtar cult, to my niece, to how I feel today and now about a stupid bet which I am sure to lose as I have no will power. My mom even said it is yesterday and I wholeheartedly agree. I don’t even know how I got to this level in life where I make a decent paycheck and married a sane woman.

Silk Route

2007-01-07T22:29:00.001-05:00

Confusion happening. Feeling of melancholy, feeling detached, feeling elevated, feeling disconnected, feeling woozy. Feel like I am in touch with myself. Feel like I am bare as a naked baby. My emotions are on my sleeve.
I love my family and everyone around me. I love my boss and I am thankful. I feel like I just took a whole lungful of euphoria. I don’t know.
I smell the crisp clean evening air of Lusaka. I can feel the wind tipping my ears. I am listening to some soul touching music. I feel the same way when I used to sit in our apartment in Lusaka and listen to Sajda. Maybe I am happy and content. That’s why I feel this way. I used to feel this all the time when I was younger and now it is more sporadic. There is so much shit flying around that it is sometimes so difficult to appreciate what you have. It is sad that happiness is such a rare commodity. There is no time even to feel happy and to appreciate what you have. This constant running is pretty tiring.
I am 30, my parents are with me and I love my wife. My sister and her family stay half hour from me and I can see my darling niece when I please. I have managed to achieve most of the basic materialistic needs at a young age. Sadly, the only constant thing in life is change. Good things will change just like bad. We have to ride it out and keep a strong face and look for the meaning of life amidst all these crests and troughs.

My dearest A

2007-01-07T21:46:00.000-05:00

My dearest A,
I love you. You are an angel. You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life. There is something about your eyes. There is something about your smile. There is something about your hug. There is something about your kiss. I love you with all my life. Every time I look at you, I forget the bad and feel only the good. I hope and wish that you will always be happy and that you will always be safe. I wish that you always make the right decisions. I wish you make me feel the same way for the rest of my life. I wish I could spend a lot more time with you. I wish you don’t move away from me. I want to see you grow up; I want to see you go through life. I have been with you from the time to you were a few minutes old to now. I want you to be an understanding, loving and happy person. God give you the strength to face everything that the world throws at you. You are an angel, my angel.
Love always,
Mama

Sunday night musings

2007-01-07T21:36:00.000-05:00

Sunday evenings are depressing. The ever looming presence of Monday morning and the tension that comes with it. We watched this movie called Ek Pal today. I like Sanjay Suri. There is something sincere about him as an actor. The movie added to the depression. Small mishaps in life can change so many things. Like a domino effect, everything falls apart. Be thankful for what you have. Life can shit on your face in a heart beat.
My folks, wifey and me went to a south Indian restaurant called Udupi . My wife likes the food there and we go pretty often. The owner is a part of the amway/quixtar and tried to convert us a few years ago but gave up after seeing the defiant looking in my eye.
So here we were, my father, mother, wife and me talking away at the lunch table in Kannada and English. I was aware of this gentleman who was eyeing me. I didn’t think he was hitting on me as the good looks days are kind of done with me. Then, I caught the owner’s newly wedded wife talking to all these guys and their wives on the other table. She must have met them at one of their meets and hence this guy was here with his family. He suddenly started talking to me and asked me where I was from Bangalore and I said was from Jayanagar and he said he was from Bangalore too. I always follow up that statement with the fact that even though I am from Bangalore, I have lived most of my life elsewhere and I include the African continent because I want to let them know that in all probability I wouldn’t know someone they know because I lived a nomadic existence even though I lived in south Bangalore. It included friends, relatives and certain places best left unsaid. Anyways, coming back to now, he kept talking to me and I kept getting weary. I left my table to get my second shot of Rasam and he patiently waited for me and continued his questions and answers with me and also introduced his wife to me. He had 6 other people on the same table. He asked us about Zambia and my mom was very eager to talk to them and let her spiel out about how beautiful Lusaka was and all. At that point I decided to turn myself towards my dad who was on my right and had a defensive stance against the man who was from Bangalore and who spoke Kannada. My mom gave her bank account number to him and was about to give mine to him too while I managed to get my wife’s attention and she passed the message on dutifully to her mother in law who at that time kept quite finally and then we collectively as a family ignored them at the other side.
Nothing happened after that. They said bye before they left. Were they Quixtar guys? Were they not? I love people. Did I behave like a snob? I am sorry if you weren’t Amway. I am sorry that I behaved just like any other human being. I am sorry that I didn’t contribute to the friendly earth that I believe in and propagate all the time. I am sorry that I had to make my mother behave like a bad person and not talk to them. To all of you Amway idiots, thanks for creating a world for me full of distrust. I loved talking to anyone and anything and now I am very very careful.

Happy New Year!!!!!!

2007-01-01T23:06:00.000-05:00

It has been a while since I wrote. A lot has happened in the past month. I turned 30 and things have changed at work for good or bad. We shall see.
Family has been around in the droves and we have had some good times. It has been extremely stressful at work and I am trying to work my way through it. My folks are here from India and my dad is ok. The nets suck and went for a few live games this past month. It is the New Year and we have made one resolution and we will work towards it. The idea is to travel and I think I should take my wife to Zambia to pay a visit to my past and into the jungles. One of my other resolutions which remains so for the past 3-4 years is to lose weight. Is to get to the 180 Lbs region. I am at least 19-20 pounds high. Sound like an old broken record.
It is 11 at night. The past 10 days have been good. Work has been limited and there has been a lot of food floating around. It is back to the same monotony of work from tomorrow.
The longer you are married, the more you love the person. Or, you walk away. It has been good thus far and shall go on for eternity. In retrospect, life has been good. For all the fuck ups I have made in the past, god has been kind to me and given me a life that is in line with what I would have wanted.
Shane Warne, McGrath and Langer are all leaving at the same time. Great players. Each different in their own way. Langer the silent warrior, Warney, the flamboyant one and McGrath, the worker. Salut to you guys for what you did on the field.
It’s back to work so I shall sign off and hit the sac. Friday was a good evening. I met gawker after probably 4 years and we started off at where we left. Some friends you are fine no matter how seldom you meet. We drank and we ate and then he left. We punched, hugged and then we talked. We will meet soon again.

flip flop

2006-12-13T23:20:00.001-05:00

The only constant in life seems to be change. The past 6 months have been a whirlwind of situations good and bad. Time is flying at such a pace that it is hard sometimes to know what day of the week it actually is. I am losing touch with the days of the month and the only reason I am sure of this week was because i turned 30 last Sunday. it was a pretty somber affair. A far cry from my younger days. My wife, my brother in law and me went to a Hookah bar the night before and no we didn’t smoke any hookah cos I cannot stand the taste of perfumed tobacco. On my bday, we went out to an Indian restaurant for lunch. It was only family. About 10 of us. Surprising how many family members are around in Jersey alone. Anyways, it came and it went.
Last week, I had the good fortune of going to both the phili game and the Dallas game. I had a choice to go for the Phoenix game but didn’t and boy, I missed the game of a life time with Kidd and Nash going at each other. Oh well, it wasn’t meant to be. I called Gawker for the game. He didn’t want to drive down from his town to the meadowlands to watch the game. I had courtside tickets. He is a moron and a lazy ass.
The nets have won two games in a row. The key to this short rate of success is Carter’s shooting percentages from the three point line. He is doing it effortlessly and without spoiling the flow of the game. Kidd had a triple double tonight and on Monday night against the grizzlies. When he quits from the game I really don’t know if I will ever watch the game with the same interest.
We have settled well into the new house. The key to me feeling comfortable here was sleeping well and it seems to be happening off late. I can feel my way around in the dark and have kind of gotten used to the sounds of the house. Every house I have come across has its own unique sounds when everything around is silent. I am comfortable with my very own house.
Work has been pretty darn interesting. It is entertaining to watch a person who is incapable of handling power and people get a shot at it. Human beings screw up pretty simple stuff. Managers need to be good with people. Managers need to respect their people. Managers must know that they do not know everything. I am at a vantage point watching the dynamics unfold and watch people making a hash out of things without directly affecting me in any way. It’s a good feeling. Managing people is like relationships at home. If there is no respect, there is nothing happening then. I adore my boss and this feeling stems from the fact that I respect him first as a human being and then as a boss. But there are others in the same space that make a mess out of all and sundry. Time alone will tell.

Chicago

2006-12-01T17:38:00.000-05:00

So I left home at 4:45 in the morning yesterday. Took the back roads to the airport. I live 10 miles away from EWR. I parked in the short term parking at terminal C and then checked in at the self check in booth. I stood at the security line and then showed my ID and ticket to the lady there. I was at the wrong terminal. Apparently, Continental- Chicago took off from A and I was in C where most of the other continental flights took off from. So, I ran to the air train and then changed terminals, went through the usual check in procedure, which involves me stripping and being extra checked because of the way I look. I am fine with it. As far as we are consistent with it. The flight took off on time and I was at O’Hare by 8 AM. I took the shuttle from the airport to the McCormick center. Chicago is a beautiful city! It is so different from New York. It is a lot less denser and the water ways through the city gives it a very fairy tale look. It also has a very artsy look to it. I liked it mucho. It was bloody cold though.
I had been to a world radiology show, where all the big guys come and show off their products pertaining to radiology. It is a huge market with many large companies involved. The solutions are expensive and so and so forth. It was fun meeting all these guys and trying to figure out how I could do business with them on a long term and large scale basis. Hopefully, it will happen in time.
I was done by late afternoon and was on my way back to the airport. I took the shuttle again and this was full of the people from the show. I sat next to this very intelligent German gentleman who was going back to Boston. He worked at Harvard and was one of the only 20 people on the planet working on a MRI prototype. The guy gave me some very valuable information. Got to the airport and that’s when the shit hit the fan. I did not realize that a storm was coming the way of Chicago. The airport was packed with people from the show trying to get the hell out of there. There were thousands of people all over the place and it was a zoo. I tried to get myself on stand by for other flights out of there but they were all full. My flight which was scheduled to leave at 7:10 PM got postponed and finally left somewhere after midnight. In the meanwhile, I had lost track of time and hope. Being my pessimistic self, I had a feeling that I would be spending the night at the airport like a refugee and possibly the weekend in some hotel dump around the airport. The gods were smiling and my luck was good. The flight arrived at O Hare from EWR at around 10 and then the people got off. They cleaned the aircraft and then we all ran into the plane. There was this kind of camaraderie on the aircraft as all of us wanted to get out of there real bad. We were helpful, nice and behaving like family. When adversity strikes, humans have this tendency to stick to each other. By now, the snow had begun to fall. It was belting down on the run way. They iced and deiced the plane time and again and we were all revved up to go. Then, for some reason which I have no clue the plane stalled on the run way. There, we were like the child from the good year ad in the middle of nowhere getting belted by the snow and sleet. I looked out of my window and felt this gloom. I was going to spend the night, the weekend and my entire life at the O’Hare airport. We hung out for a while at the runway and for some strange reason again; the plane started strolling towards the take off runway. By the time we left Chicago it was way past midnight and I got home at around 3:30 AM.
I was reading the news and most planes from O’Hare have been cancelled today. I am in good old Jersey where the temperature is 64 degrees unlike freaking Chicago where it was somewhere in the 20s without the wind chill factor.

My House

2006-11-27T16:42:00.001-05:00

Now that I own a house, I have a very strange feeling of responsibility towards my town. Never felt that before when I used to live in an apartment. I want to make my town the bestest, cleanest and coolest town under the sun.

Happy Monday

2006-11-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

Does everyone go through the same struggles? Or do some people not even bother? Does everyone strive to be better people? No one is perfect. I go through this constant fight with myself where I want to be a better person. Where I want to control my emotions and handle it the perfect way, whatever that is. We all know that there is no written rule to reacting and nothing is perfect. But, decency and rationality should be one of the pre reqs of any reaction or action. I have to remember to be a better person. I mean well and I know that. My issue is the delivery. The delivery of the emotions. Sadly, how you react to emotions is what life is all about. It’s not about how you think in your heart.
The nets have lost 5 in a row. We are looking listless and impotent. The Indian cricket team has always looked useless. There is nothing new about that. In a country of over a billion people, we are stuck with a quite a few incompetent men. Some people have to go. It is time. Are you telling me that out of all the people that we have in our mother land, we cannot find 11 guys who are mentally strong and can perform on a consistent basis? If we can have successful people in the business world, in the medical world, why in the name of god can’t we have 11 professionals who know where they stand and how to work their way to success? Back to my nets, I am watching Lawrence Frank and I see a man with not a lot of innovation. He has hit a wall and better re-invent himself soon. This is his third full year as coach and he has to raise his hand to be counted. His design plays have become very predictable and many players lack some of the basic abilities. The ball doesn’t come to you during a rebound. You have to get to the ball. Jason Kidd epitomizes the perfect rebound man. An uncanny ability to be at the right place at the right time and quick hands that grab the ball. Miki Moore catches the ball like a cloud in the air and frails his arms around like an orangutan rather than attack the ball. The others players are not very aggressive with their rebounding technique and those second chance points are killing us.
The whole of last week was very hectic. We moved to our new house and it is a very exciting time. The walls are empty, the rooms are empty and all our stuff is stowed away in boxes. I couldn’t find a shirt to wear to work today. I almost got lost getting to work today as I tried a new route. My wife and me will get slowly used to our new life. I feel very bad for her. Her door to door will probably go up by 15 to 20 mins each way. I guess we were spoilt in our apartment where all she had to do was hop and skip her way to the train station. Now, it is a little different. My drive is going up a little too as I am away from the parkway.

Questions from a (going to be)thirty year old.

2006-11-21T15:09:00.000-05:00

Do you want to be successful in a small company? Do you want to be successful in a big company? Which is better? Do you want to get an MBA from an Ivy League school or from a so so school? Does pedigree matter? Are you at par with your class mates? Are you better than where your class mates are? Did you marry the right girl? Are you still with that right girl? Do you have a house? Do you have a car? Do you have 2 cars? Do you have a Benz, BMW or an Audi? Do you have a Toyota? Do you have an 1100 cc bike? Do you have a healthy bank balance? Do you still look good? Are you fat? Are you confident? Did you kinda sorta find yourself? Did you forget yourself?

Home

2006-11-18T23:14:00.000-05:00

6 feet 1, 200 lbs. I have been the same weight for the past 3 years. Hopefully, I can manage to reverse it to 180 lbs at some point of time.
SONY has the best TV’s under the sun. I have a 50 Inch SXRD, my FIL has the same, my BIL has the 42 Inch one and my wife’s uncle also has the 50 Inch SXRD. The clarity is mind blowing. The high def stuff is certainly worth the money. I don’t think anyone makes it better than SONY. I remember back in the early 80’s my uncle came back from Nigeria and brought back the SONY 30 Inch TRINITRON. It was an awesome TV. It was my in my grandma’s house for years and still must be around. The longevity of the product is amazing.
We are closing the next week. Moving into a three bedroom town home. You sometimes don’t even realize. You don’t realize how much you have progressed in life and how much you can actually afford. A little money and a security that you will be able to make it on a consistent basis makes you “move on” in life as they say to bigger and better things. That is exactly what mademoiselle and I are doing. Just like all the other so called grown ups who are successful out there. Same cycles and same path. We are like trained panzees and we practice life only on a certain well traveled path. Anyways back to what I was saying. It’s a nice town and my community is sandwiched between a golf course on the front, a park on one side and a huge molecular institute on the other side. I don’t know what the fourth side faces. We face the molecular technology building. It is probably 100 years old and is three fourths empty. It has an eerie look to it and has always attracted my attention. It on a hill and when the moon is out, it looks like this building is all alone and touching the moon. Anyways, my entrance and the master bedroom face it. I also was told that the movie “A beautiful mind” was shot right here. I came home and researched it. It is true and now I have the bragging rights. My house faces the backside of the Molecular institute where the movie “A beautiful mind” was shot.
We will be moving the next week and Insha Allah, everything works out the right way. The good part is I can learn to golf during summer. It’s like I have a golf course in my backyard.
Jersey has been good to me. Jersey is home. Jersey is a shit hole but you kind of get used to it. The hustle, the bustle and the opportunities. The screwed up roads and the nutcase drivers. The expensive insurance and the even more expensive property taxes. You make all that money and you give it right back. You work like a dog and try to make it worthwhile. Your money isn’t worth much here and it’s worth twice its value somewhere in the mid west. They take your money away by tolls. It is amazing, how much of shit you have to spend your money on. But, this is Jersey. This is home. This is the true spirit of the United States. I am Indian, African Indian, American Indian, Italian American Indian and anything else you want to throw my way. I almost forgot, Jersey is where the nets reside currently led by the warrior Jason Frederick Kidd.
Jersey is home.

Randomness Galore

2006-11-07T23:26:00.000-05:00

So much happening all the time. It gets overwhelming. I would rather have a beer and watch a game. I could watch basketball all day.
Wish I were a kid. Where if I didn’t do something, it wouldn’t actually matter a dog’s balls
Most people don’t know what the hell they are doing. The fact is not all of us are evolved as peoples. I have come to realize that most people are full of shit. Life is all about trying different permutations and combinations. If it clicks you succeed and if you don’t, you are pretty much fucked. There is no set formula for success other than hard work and perseverance and hopefully the ball falls on your side. If it doesn’t, you are fucked again. There are no god damn answers to life. No one has them. It is a myriad combination of luck, timing and presence. If it clicks, you are good and if not, you can suck your thumb. Your space will change and you will be cocooned in your self obsessed space.
We are all zombies by our own creation. We adhere to morality, social responsibility and truth. For fuck knows what.

Ok back to earth. I love my job and I want to make shit loads of money. I am going to be 30 in a month. The nets are two games old in this infant season and we are looking ok. All my loved ones are fine and that’s all I can ask for.
I have a tooth that is bothering me. I hope the son of a bitch goes back into his dormant self cos I really hate going to the dentist. The last time this tooth acted up, I went through some sick ass pain. I was a student then and didn’t have dental insurance. I went to this Sindhi dentist down in Fords and she really screwed it up. That was about 7 years ago.
I remember those days. It was my first job after my masters and I was so carefree. I had fun at my job and called in sick many times after a night of drinking. I didn’t care and it was awesome. I could live with one third of what I am making right now and not think about other shit. The more you make, the more you spend. Nothing new about that. Generations repeat the same mistakes at all levels.
By the way, I think the ball has been falling on my side for the past year or so. Who says marriage doesn’t do good things?

DVR

2006-10-31T17:46:00.000-05:00

I got a DVR on Sunday since my nets season is beginning tomorrow. Why the hell didn’t I get it earlier? No freaking clue. I guess I am slow at things and also slow to accept technology in my life. And to think that I sell memory for a living?

I am on land

2006-10-31T15:42:00.000-05:00

The whole of last week I was out on business. Over the weekend, wifey and me flew to Columbus to hang out with my buddies. It was loads of fun. Good food, good company and asome alcohol. It’s funny how you can hang out with certain people and feel so comfortable. You can be who you are. No pretensions, no jack shit. I wonder if we would all be the same with each other if we hung out everyday. Familiarity does breed contempt in my books.
Anyways, flew back on Sunday. It was bloody windy and scary. My saga with this paranoia of flying continues. It gets stronger every time. I am pretty confident that my life will be snuffed out in a plane crash. I am not scared of dying. I am scared of going through that process of being helpless in air. This sunny Sunday was windy with gusts from 35 miles an hour. One of the guys sitting next to me who worked for continental but was flying as a passenger said that the winds were possibly in the 65 mile range up in the skies. The plane was bobbing around like a yoyo. I was sweating like a pig. There was a girl sitting two rounds behind me who was scared to death too. She was a lot more vocal than me and added considerable tension to the situation with her periodic screaming. The guy behind me was sweating like mad and the calmest person close to me was my wife and a 6 month old baby in the back seat with no freaking clue. My wife finds my reactions amusing. The sweating palms, the contorted face and my furious and petrified grasp of her hand. I was truly cared and I would have probably shat in my pants if the ordeal continued for longer. I get real scared when the plane is on its course earthwards. All through the whole thing, my wife was sleeping.
I hate flying.

Oh my poor Nets

2006-10-19T10:31:00.000-04:00

This ain’t funny anymore. Four pre season games and four losses. Marcus Williams, Eddie House and Josh Boone are all in the dog house with injuries. The three of them will not return till at least the first month of December. They will be creaky and will have no rhythm. Starting five right now are Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, Richard Jefferson, Nenad Kristic and Jason Collins. Bench is Cliff Robinson, Boston Nachbar, Antoine Wright, Jay Williams( Maybe), Miki Moore and I have no clue who the others are.
Our starting five is awesome. Our bench? God knows. Cliffy is consistent, but almost 40. Miki Moore is a waste of a seven footer. Boston and Jay are ok. Antoine Wright is probably going to be the only one who can perform up to expectations.
Please slap me on my face. Why the hell does it always happen? The good part is that it could be worse. We have a couple of weeks to go before the season begins and that gives us another 4 weeks to manage without the mentioned injured guys. Hopefully, they are all good to go by the beginning of December. Otherwise, J Kidd will be logging in more minutes to keep us from not tanking in the beginning itself. John Hollinger with the New York sun says that the Knicks are better off than the nets at the present time. I think he doesn’t like the nets. He always talks shit.

Update

I just wanted to update my previous statement. It looked juvenile when I didn’t back up my statement. The Knicks are supposed to be a better time because of what? Isaiah has the same guys that Brown had the last season. How can he make a difference? They have too many guards who want the ball and they are and will be a mediocre team no matter what. They had the worst record in the NBA the last season and probably will get a little better this season due to the infusion of a new coach. That always happens. To suggest that they are better positioned than the nets is preposterous

Watch your back

2006-10-17T14:21:00.000-04:00

I am taking the side roads to work these days. There is some major construction happening at the junction of the parkway and 280 West. For a couple of miles, you end up sitting around at least for half an hour. So, I have discovered some side roads which are slower but at least I am sure enough to get to work by 9 AM. So, for the past month I zigzag myself through Bloomfield, Montclair, Verona, the Caldwells and finally end up hitting the state highway to work. It is fun driving through these pretty towns but also pretty irritating at times weaving through the traffic and traffic lights. At certain points it is better to be on the left lane than the right and vice versa. Today was a frustrating day to work. Three people gave me trouble. One cut me off and the other two were driving way too slow stalling traffic. They were completely oblivious to their outside world. They had two common factors. All the drivers were women and they were all on their cell phones. None of them were using head sets either. There are some of us who are capable of operating machinery while on the phone and there are some of us who aren’t. These some of us who aren’t capable should lay off the fucking phone and should concentrate on the road. I hate honking and I really do not want to help propagate the culture of honking. I like peace and quiet.
Anyone who falls into the category of not being able to drive properly and being on the phone, get off the road and then get to your stupid phone. If not, go buy a bloody headset cos it helps.
Another important advice. If you cannot see or if you are learning how to drive, the safest lane is not the left most lane. The safest is the right most. Actually, just stay home or drive for eternity in the mall parking lot.

Marcus, Will you please raise your hand?

2006-10-16T15:16:00.000-04:00

On Friday night, I watched the pre season game between the Nets and the Knicks. Well, we got walloped in the second half and the game was a blow out. There was no Jason Kidd and no Carter. Jefferson hardly played and to tell you the truth, it was boring. The great bull Jason Kidd was on the sidelines looking dapper in his well fitted suit. Frank obviously thought that he wanted to give him the rest before we kick off the regular season in a couple of weeks.
We lost yesterday again to the freaking Raptors. This is the pre season and things shouldn’t be taken seriously. But again, without J Kidd, we looked beyond ordinary. We have Marcus Williams who is supposed to be the next best point guard and hopefully he lives up to his potential. No one has the ability to capture your imagination as much as Kidd has over the past 5 years. He has changed the face of a franchise with his leadership and play making abilities. He makes everyone around him better. He brings this magnificent aura and power into the game. Will I still love the game after he is gone? Time will tell. Maybe it’s up to Marcus Williams.

yez, it eez tiru

2006-10-16T15:06:00.000-04:00

Blogs have a personality of their own. The way one writes on his blog more or less reflects the person’s character. Say for example, you read Amit Varma’s India Uncut; he seems to like such a decent guy. He has mastered the art of writing and portrays a simple and straightforward man. I have a feeling the guy is very calm, humble and courteous.
Curious Gawker- Moody, anti social, doesn’t care a flip as to what the world thinks of him. Amazing command over his language and constantly reads.
Gaurav Sabnis- Principled, very scholarly and academically inclined with all his observations.
Some people are plain happy and can transfer that mood onto paper. They are constantly in that frame of mind. People like me are more or less in touch with reality and very cynical. I have tried to write some funny stuff on my blog but to no avail.

?

2006-10-12T15:16:00.000-04:00

I write like a bloody retard!! What the hell is happening to my language? As you grow older, you are supposed to get sharper and savvier with things. I seem to be walking the wrong way. I think it has got to do with me not reading any books off late.
2 months to go. I will be 30 years old soon. Grey hair- plenty, fat- plenty happening, lethargy- happening and of course no sense of humor anymore. As you get older, you get weighed down by life and seem to lose your silliness. I think humor is good and stupidity and other ingredients add plenty of taste to life. Sadly, as we grow older we walk away from it and end up being grouchy assholes.
I wonder when the Sopranos are gonna be back?

18 days to go

2006-10-12T15:13:00.000-04:00

Sad that the pacers have to keep going through the same issues, year in and out. Stephen Jackson, their resident nutcase needs to be handed the pink slip or made to sit on the bench for the rest of his career. Guys in the NBA have to understand that they are not invincible. That they have to be upstanding citizens as they are role models for a number of kids brown, black or white. I am happy to be associated and happy to be maniacal with my obsession with my nets. We have some classy guys in our organization. There are a couple of blips in our team too. J Kidd did what he did 7 years ago and am pretty sure that he repents. Old man Robinson was stupid enough to smoke up the last season. He got caught and we got screwed.
These fucking H 1 visas. People struggle for a number of years. This country has a number of opportunities just like other countries out there. But this H1 shit makes it a very uneven play ground. You cannot truly be what you can be when you are on a H1. You are either stuck with one company, you are caught in a position where you are in between stages in your process and eventually it becomes a waiting game. May of us have been successful even though we have been dealt some pretty difficult cards.
Winter is fast approaching and we will all be freezing our balls off as usual. Summer seemed very short this time for some reason. 18 days to ago and the season will kick off. We lost the pre season opener to Indiana yesterday. Well, who cares? It was just a pre season game.
Work is very very challenging. Working for a bigger organization. All about working the people. Make people love you, respect you, be in awe of you. All a fucking game. I like my boss. Another 3 weeks and it will be 6 months. Getting used to the environment.

21 days

2006-10-09T17:38:00.000-04:00

Can I make an observation? No deal is too big or too small. You have an attitude where you play favorites to opportunities, you will never succeed. You have to be intelligent about things, but it is not a hard and fast rule that smaller opportunities don’t need any time of your day.
Give respect to the situation and decide accordingly. Have the bigger picture in your mind.
Only a chosen few have this attitude.
Life is going on. I am drinking some hazel nut coffee shit. It tastes pretty disgusting. I will finish it though. Coffee mostly tastes like crap anyways. Don’t know why we drink it.
21 days to go. The first game is between the nets and the raptors at home. The next game is at Miami on Nov 3rd. Talk about easing yourself into the season. You are more or less bitch slapped into reality. I cannot wait for the season to begun. I cannot wait to watch Jason Kidd running around like a mad man. Marcus Williams, welcome aboard. Kid, I hope you learn well from the master and have the same discipline. We have Eddie House and the rail thin Mikki Moore with his stupid pythons. Cannot wait.
I think this time; I am going to start updating my nets blog on a regular basis.

Ari

2006-09-17T22:43:00.000-04:00

Dropped into say hi. Am scared the blog gods will cut me off. It has been a month since I wrote about spears and her voluptuous cushions. Damn, I am creaky. The less you write, the lesser you feel like writing. Days have been flying like the wind. Work is going on and Spring is here. Spears apparently also had a baby boy. I am not fixated with her. Her name is popping on and off in my mind for some weird reason.
Do you know about data warehousing servers? They are pretty cool.
Entourage is done for the season. I didn’t like the way it ended. No one fires Ari. I am waiting for the last season of the Sopranos and also for the nets season to begin. I have almost lost interest in Cricket and only follow it to see how Sachin is doing. Give me another few years and I will forget a lot more. I really don’t care. If it is not in my face, I will forget. I don’t remember names of streets in Lusaka and Bangalore anymore. I cant draw the maps in my mind either. Pretty hazy and all. Will be back. Till then- peace, love and empathy.

spears and me

2006-08-15T10:18:00.000-04:00

I have some very weird questions that pop up in my mind these days. I was flying back from Michigan yesterday and in the bookshop at the airport, I saw a magazine with Brittany Spears nude on the cover. She was covering her considerable assets with her hands and her legs were crossed. She was nude but you couldn’t see anything. She was also pregnant. What possesses people to pose in the nude when they are pregnant? I don’t know. Is this supposed to be a turn on or is it supposed to portray something else? Confusing.
I hate flying. I have said that a million times before. I flew back from Michigan in this aircraft which was possibly an 80 seater. Fucking pilot was having fun going in circles and making last minute maneuvers just before landing. I was sweating and squeezing my wife’s hand all the way. I have this feeling which says that I will die one day on a plane and I keep thinking of the worst shit under the sun when I am flying. On the other hand driving is more fun than flying. Getting to fucking La Guardia from Jersey is a pain and I would rather drive to anywhere that is not more than 700 miles. My wife agrees with me too.
So, from here on anytime we visit Detroit, we will be driving. It is less stressful, maybe a little more tiring. I don’t care. Work is going good. I make considerably a lot more than what I used to make 5 years ago but I feel the same everyday. I have realized that my attitude towards my job is not about what I take home on that day. That will take care of itself. Hopefully, this attitude will stick on forever.
I am turning 30 in 4 months. It is a scary thought. I will be hitting the 30s. I am actually almost half done with my natural life on this planet. There are still so many things to change.
I swear a lot. I am too brash for my own good. I don’t hold a lot of things back and I have to learn to control my aggression. I am growing older and I will soon have to set an example to our child. I have to learn to hone my temper, my expectations and be a little more empathetic about things. I have to learn to be patient and nice.

Hope

2006-07-26T14:16:00.000-04:00

When faced with an adverse situation your first reaction is despair, then follows numbness and a blank thought process and finally you begin to pick up the pieces and fight back. The human spirit is possibly the strongest entity that exists. Hope is not an illusion. Hope is the reason we are where we are.

She said

2006-07-21T10:48:00.000-04:00

I have a bad habit of eavesdropping when I am in restaurants. I like to listen to people on the other table as it gives me a peek into their life for about half an hour. I find it pretty interesting.
Yesterday I heard two women/girls having a conversation over lunch at an Indian restaurant. They were Indians of course and I heard the following words at least 10 times during the course of conversation as expected.

Project
Green card
Programming
Software

And a few which I don’t remember anymore.

Mr Singh

2006-07-15T19:27:00.000-04:00

I commend my fellow Indians. I commend my fellow Indians for not reacting in an irrational manner. I commend my fellow Indians for practicing peace. We will prevail. Do not indulge in any kind of madness.
Mr Singh, please react. People are waiting for you to do the right thing. It is your duty to do so. There is a reason you have been given the power to decide. We have entrusted the power to you to make the choice in a calculated and rational manner. People are waiting. Act now before there is a chaotic reaction from the people to the madness that we just witnessed in Bombay. Communicate to people as to what exactly you are doing and keep them posted. We should not forget. There are no reasons to.
We have to get to the bottom of what happened. Find people responsible for the blasts, bring them to justice or rid them of the face of the earth. Mr Singh, it is your choice. Whatever it is, do it and tell people what the hell you are doing or trying to do.

Stop

2006-07-12T09:53:00.000-04:00

I have an impending feeling of gloom in my heart. India is on fire, Israel is on the offensive and Iraq is a boiling pot. The world is falling apart. I wish the madness would stop. I wish peoples and nations would stop provocating each other. There is too much of capability to destroy. There will be catastrophic results. These wars if they bloom will be like destruction never seen before. We have to stop. Please stop. Please think.

Oak Tree

2006-07-10T13:44:00.000-04:00

Went grocery shopping to oak tree road yesterday. Another reason we went there was because my wife wanted to eat chaat. The sun was setting by the time we left the chaat place. It was raining down brightly on the Catholic Church at an angle and the church looked pristine. As I was walking by it, I saw a Muslim gentleman praying on the lawns of the church. He was facing the church and praying with his shoes off and a rug on the ground. I wish I had taken a picture. I was elated.
It is what it is.

New England, the place to be.

2006-07-09T00:24:00.000-04:00

The weekend of the 4th, I was away up in the mountains with my wife. In the state of New Hampshire and in a small town called Jackson by the foot of the great White Mountains. We stayed in a nice quite Inn with a spa.
The good part was that we were in the country. The bad part was both of us were down with a cold and a cough. Pretty bad feeling when you are all clogged up, spewing out phlegm and blowing mucous. Didn’t do jack shit. Well, we didn’t get to see as much as we wanted to. We went up Mount Washington. Didn’t drive up because we bought a new SUV and the lady at the counter said that we would be taking a year off the transmission and brakes.
Incidentally, Gawker and I had made this trip up the mountain around 6 years ago. His Jetta was new too but no one told us anything about it. I called him and told him that he practically fucked up his car the week he bought it and as usual we had an arguement about how he would still be macho enough to take it even if he knew he was going to fuck it up while i said that knowing him and how much he loved his card, he would have never taken it up the mountain if he knew. It is one scary drive. There are no railings and there is a big drop waiting for you if you do not gauge your turns. Coming to back to last weekend, we took the shuttle to the top of the mountain where there was a crazy wind blowing at about 80 miles an hour. We went up, took some pictures and then came down. After that we ended up going to “Spicy Lime”, a Thai restaurant which was pretty good food and had some Singha beer. We also did quite a lot of shopping up there. There was this Ralph Lauren store in North Conway which we visited and I lost my mind there. Off late, I have been enamored by POLO apparel to a great extent and am spending a lot of money buying shirts, t shirts, shorts and anything I can lay my hands on. I have to stop it.
Anyways, my wife and I ended up doing some trekking, taking a trip up the mountains and shopping. I drank beer everyday as it was my right to do so even though I was dying of a cold and cough. I somehow feel it really doesn’t make a difference. I am an idiot anyways. I will post some pictures. The weather was perfect but the physical being was not up to it. It is a good place to be if you are feeling good. You can trek, take the cruise, go up the mountain and walk around. It was fun but it was also fun to be back in jersey and watch TV on my big ass TV. We had a TV in our room which was a LCD screen and was as small as my laptop. Fucking pain in the ass.
Planning on going white water rafting with my wife and BIL. Called gawker and asked him to join me but apparently he is scared. Fucking wuss.
Today, everything looks good. Today, everything is peaceful. Today, there is equilibrium between what is and what should be. Alas, today is never the same.

Fools

2006-06-24T13:16:00.000-04:00

90% people working in an organization are incompetent. Only 10% actually know what the fuck is happening. Do you agree?

The Eagle has landed

2006-06-21T14:54:00.000-04:00

I am in a place where I feel and I know. I am in a place where I notice and I know. I am in a place in which I was born into and hence, I succeed. The place where I know, I notice and was born into is here. I am unique. I believe in it.
Haven’t written in a while. The transition has happened from one work place to another and I am finding my place and my elements. I am no longer weary, tensed and apprehensive. I am where I was. It took me 2 months.
The heat won last night. Probably deserved to win. Now that I wear XL I don’t feel fat anymore. Fucking perspective. Just like other things in life. If you are uncomfortable with certain things in you life just get a bigger size and you will be fine.

Stupid Humans

2006-06-13T19:40:00.000-04:00

The more money you make, the more you spend. We are such stupid beings. And you know what? You dont even realize that you are spending a lot more.
I havent watched tv for a long time. I am watching access hollywood on abc, jobless chuths.

The travelling salesman was a boy

2006-06-13T15:52:00.000-04:00

I was up in Boston for work and I just got back. I love the New England accent. I will move there one day and be one of them. I already say a few words like the way they say it.
Life has changed so much. It has been a month since I started here and it feels like ages. I stayed at the homestead suites because we didn’t get into any of the Sheratons. They were all booked and my boss apparently didn’t do the planning right. After a long day of meeting with clients, I was all but dead. We didn’t have a place to stay and finally got a couple of rooms at the homestead suite. I took my shoes off, lay myself on the bed and began flipping through the channels. I was tickled to see Manorama on TV in some small city in Massachusetts. Sun TV and Zee TV were part of the ensemble also including porn on demand. Hit the sac and didn’t wake up till 6:30 in the morning. The two days were spent meeting young and middle aged Caucasian men with an amazing accent. I didn’t get to meet anyone else. You get used to a very diverse crowd being in the NY/NJ area and the change was refreshing and fun. Another reason that I didn’t get to meet any apna people was maybe cos I wasn’t meeting with the IT team but was meeting with buyers and sellers and their managers.
All in all, it is an exciting time for me. With power comes responsibilities and with responsibilities come accountability. I will not have the luxury of pointing the blame towards my boss or hiding behind the shadow of my boss. Balls it will take and balls may it be.
I don’t seem to feel the flow or motivation to write anymore. There is a shift in the mind set and too many things happening at the same time. I have to write. I have to learn to keep the flow on. It is 3 in the afternoon and I am home. I am home working and typing this stuff on my laptop.
The salesman has to wake up in me. A salesman talks a lot and I seem to be too cynical to talk to people. I will only talk to genuine people and I have to learn to be consistent across the board and talk to everyone, their mothers and their grandmothers if I can find them. I will have to learn to talk, talk and talk.
Does it happen to you sometimes where you think you are still a kid and where you have a bunch of people reporting to you and you don’t even realize when you grew up for that to happen? Well it is happening to me and I have to accept the fact that I have a place in the hierarchy at the present time and I have to make my position, place and space.
I have to try and find some food for myself as I haven’t eaten since morning. Gawker, congratulations on your one year. You have earned a fan base that looks forward to reading the shit you write and what comes out of that eccentric brain of yours. Keep writing and be funny. As usual, I will be watching you.

Walking on

2006-05-25T22:45:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is three weeks since I started working. I still have a job! I am slowly getting comfortable with my surroundings.
The Pistons are beating the heat in the second game of the eastern conference finals. The Pistons are going to go all the way with this. The heat beat the nets and they deserve to lose for doing so. I don’t know what the hell to write about.
I spoke to gawker for a while on the phone yesterday and we talked about random shit. He seems to be losing his mind as time moves on. Hopefully we meet this weekend for lunch.
The drive has improved to work. It is 20 miles compared to 28 miles. There are a number of Indian restaurants around and I get to pick and chose where I want to go. I miss my old job because I made some very good friends there. It was like home and I could behave like myself. Right now, I am uptight, dress up well and have to be dignified. I don’t feel the warmth towards anyone as of yet other than my boss. I should be thankful that I work for a decent guy. It’s a much bigger setting with a lot of people and a lot of characters. Feeling my way through this. I will succeed. There are many goals to achieve right now. Succeed in my career and lose some weight. You take a risk sometimes in life and I have taken one. I will either be very successful in the next year or I will be somewhere else. I would like to succeed and make my way up through this organization. We shall see. Insha Allah.

Dharma

2006-05-18T19:59:00.001-04:00

I am sitting at home. It has been a long day. New job, new environment. It’s going to be 2 weeks tomorrow and I got my first pay check. I have spent the past 2 weeks feeling my way through and meeting tons of people. Funnily, I remember all the names. I guess you can remember them when it really matters. My world has opened up and the challenges are right in front of me. I have to stand up and face it or be gone.
Previously, I was always unhappy and restless. Now I am where I wanted to be and I have to make use of it. Will I? Time will tell.
Just like that the season got over. The nets and heat had a mini battle and they beat us. Have to wait and see as to what happens in the off season. Major changes have to be made. Carter has to go. Certain men are heroes and are made for greater things. Jason Kidd is one. Carter isn’t and will never be. He cost us the season.
Money and power. You got a little taste of it and you go looking for more. Corporate America is not a very nice place to be. Dog eat dog world

Back

2006-05-14T11:15:00.001-04:00

The nets are down one game. They played a listless game on friday night with Carter being highly irresponsible. He should not be allowed to handle the ball late in the game. Let Kidd do it. He has the balls, the mindset, the skill and the will. Anyways, today is a season making or ending game and we shall see how it goes.
I am back in Jersey after a 2 week break. Mixed emotions. What to do? Bangalore is not home anymore. I met an abnoxious character on the way to India. He was sitting next to me, had some bad BO and wanted to know everything about me. About my status in the US and all. I had to put my foot down when he asked me how much i make. He was from one of the IITs working for some financial corp in nyc and was from hyderabad. He had switched jobs and all he was travelling with his old h1 stamp and he claimed that he had already got it stamped with his previous job and apparently it was ok to travel on the h1 and he didnt need to go the consulate to get it stamped. I dont think it is true. I told him that he and said that it was ok to travel as they wouldnt know. Hopefully he made his arse back to the states.
I was jet lagged this time for some reason. With the heat, it was worse. I didnt sleep for a few days. I finally went and got myself a massage and then managed to get some sleep. There seem to be a lot of nice hep places in Jayanagar and i visited a few of them. Most of the time, i was drenched in sweat and had a bath atleast twice a day. I started driving from the day i got in and the traffic cannot possibly get worse. People continue to live in inhumane conditions without questioning the situation. The pavements are dug up as usual and the roads are pretty bad. The power cuts really donot help.
Everyone i met there talked in crores as i mentioned earlier. I think i would do better staying back in the US. I can better afford it here than there. If you are not part of the system, you would do good to stay out unless you have old money which i dont. So i return an outsider from my own town.
Other than that the trip was uneventful with me spending most of my time at home and with my folks. I went out a couple of times too. I went for a music concert at the american chamber of commerce. This guy Amit Heri who gave music for morning raaga the movie had a concert with his ensemble. It was pretty good.
I am back in Jersey. I hate flying and i am happy that i didnt die on this trip. I am scared shitless when i fly cos i feel there is absolutely no chance that i will survive.

Bangalore

2006-05-02T14:05:00.000-04:00

I have been in Bangalore for the past week. The streets are congested, the heat is energy sapping and i have been looking every day. I have been looking for my good old Bangalore. My Bangalore from atleast 10 years ago. The quiet roads, the crisp early morning air and the sleepy town. I cant find it. I will never ever be able to find it. My friends are gone and the place has gone too. I feel like a stranger in my own town.
I met a few of my old friends and met some of their friends. Every person i spoke to used the word "crore" with reckless abandon. My dollar doesnt seem to matter anymore and the longer i stay, the more i spend. It will pinch too.The word "crore" was not only used but also actually there. Bangalore scares me with the money it has. People are absorbed in the real estate spike that is happening right now. There is no rhyme or reason for the price of land. It is fashionable to buy and sell land in the crores right now. Bangalore better watch out. Something will give.
Other than that, the food has been good. I have put on a few pounds and time has come to do something about it. The nets are busy battling the pacers in the play offs and there is not one freaking cricket match happening.
The heat is unbearable. If you donot have a house with an ac, you might as well walk around in a langoti. I have had problems dealing with the heat and sadly sound like a wuss everytime i talk to anyone who visits. I constantly complain about the heat. Someone said that bush doesnt think that global warming exists. He should visit Bangalore to see the marked difference in conditions.
I started driving from the day i came into the country. The good part is at 40 kms/hour nothing much can happen to you anyways. I have sworn many a times in the past week, have broken rules a couple of times and have been looking forward to beat up somebody to complete my life as it was. I still havent found anyone to hit.
The good part of this heat is that you get to enjoy the beer. The warmer it is out there and the colder the beer is, it kind of cools your soul.
They dont make any 2 stroke bikes. That sucks for all these kids who buy these stupid 4 stroke engines. Imagine, the first bike those days you could buy was a hero honda. I would have rather ridden a tvs champ. I saw a road king on the road yesterday and it took me back 10 years. Youth is intoxicating and exciting. We tend not to appreciate it when you have it and when you dont, it sucks.
3 days to go and then it will be back to good ol jersey. Life as i know will continue. Hopefully the rest falls into place.

God Bless

2006-04-12T10:32:00.000-04:00

If you are a kannadiga, you have been influenced by the man. May his soul rest in peace. He was a good man.

We are specks of dust in this great machine of time

jason kidd

2006-04-06T14:33:00.000-04:00

bear right

2006-04-06T14:30:00.001-04:00

1) I’d rather die than own a Hyundai. I am such a vain prick.
2) If you are on the left most lane, don’t clog it. Either drive like a maniac or get the fuck off it.
3) If can’t see well and are on the left lane, get the fuck off it.
4) If you cannot see the front end of your car when you are sitting in the driving seat, get a big pillow.
I am at work and want to go home.
Did you do your taxes?

The guy replied

2006-04-04T11:16:00.001-04:00

So yesterday i wrote to this famous sports writer telling him that he was wrong on one of his points and he wrote back to me saying

"Thanks for reading. I appreciate any comments or feedback.

You are correct. The Nets won three of the four meetings this season. Thanks
for the catch!"

He corrected his article.

I feel better.

Dirty Dozen

2006-04-03T17:08:00.000-04:00

What makes one sports writer better than the other? What gives these sports analysts and writers the right to predict the stuff that they predict? I was reading an article from a supposedly good sports journalist about the nets not being strong enough to match the heat and then saw that the fool didn’t even have his facts right. He said that the nets and the heat spilt the four games in the regular season. The guy is on crack. We beat the heat 3-1 in the regular season and it would have probably been 4-0 had we got that call when Carter drove to the bucket in the first game. There was contact and he got hacked but there was still no call.
After I read this guys article, I googled his name and found his e mail address and wrote to him telling him that he made a mistake and he should correct his article. Hopefully, he reads my e-mail. I can be a great sports writer but no one is going to read my stuff and then you have idiots like this making claims. Has he even watched the nets off late? Has he watched the heat off late? I would not argue with this guy if he said that we were not in the same league as the pistons. But the Heat? Come on man. Shaq is a shadow of himself, Mourning has a torn calf and might not be 100 % during the play-offs and they have no offensive rhythm. The only thing that they have working for them is baby Jordan but how far can Wade carry them?
And these guys get paid to write as they feel and they also have people reading this stuff. I wish I knew basketball pre 2000. I would certainly have given this stuff a try. I don’t and if you were not part of it, it is difficult to feel it.

Spring

2006-03-30T15:15:00.000-05:00

Spring is in the air. The air is crisp, the sun is brilliant and the wind has a chill to it. Reminds me of my Lusaka. Reminds me of my childhood and things that will never ever be the same.

Lamb Chettinad

2006-03-30T14:37:00.000-05:00

My wife and me didn’t go to work on Tuesday as we had some important work to attend to. After we had finished whatever we had to, we decided to go to an Indian restaurant for lunch. I wanted to go to a place, which we hadn’t been to and that’s tough considering we have been to most of them in central jersey. As we were driving around on oak tree road, we came across this restaurant called M. Ambience was awesome and hence I wanted to check it out. It was 11:45 in the morning and these guys weren’t open as of yet. They let us in though because they were opening at 12. So the guy turns up with the menu and it looked pretty exotic. I decided to have the salted fresh limejuice which had some cool name on the menu and my wife decided to have something which I don’t remember but tasted great. Anyway, we order an appetizer and then got to the entrée finally. I decided on the lamb chettinad and my wife being a vegetarian decided to have dosa. That’s when the waiter opened his mouth and warned us that the dosa was just dosa. You wouldn’t be getting anything else with it. No chutney and no sambhar. So, I asked the guy as to how she would be eating the dosa and he said that I could order for sambhar and so I asked him where the sambhar was. He pointed me onto another exotic long name, which basically meant plain sambhar at the end of the day. Check this out, dosa was 5$ and sambhar was 10$. Fucking joke right? So my wife says no need sambhar and I say fuck it. Get the sambhar. Then the waiter turns to me and asks me what I want with the chettinad. Till that point I was under the safe assumption that the chettinad came with some form of rice just like most other normal restaurants. Apparently, rice was not at all involved with the dish. I had to order for white rice. The lamb Chettinad was 16$ and the white rice was 10$. Which fucking place does this to you? The food was so so and we are never going back there cos it is a rip off and they know it too.
Now if I put the name of the restaurant, anyone reading this blog would never go there. This is exactly how restaurants lose business and credibility. By acting cute and trying to do different shit and charging for basic shit which is free in other places. This is oak tree road for Christ’s sake and you are catering to middle class Indian crowds and you cannot try and be different with us guys. We exactly know the maximum bang possible for the minimum buck spent.

Bless you, R

2006-03-29T14:49:00.000-05:00

Before I got married, I used to hang out at this bar all the time. I would go there to eat, to drink and to talk. The bartender was/is a very good friend of mine. Those were some awesome days. There were days I would hang out at the bar drinking dunkin donuts coffee with my friend S who is the bartender and talk about basically crap. I met R there. R looked like a typical character out of the Sopranos. He was in the mid 40s and he was Italian. He would violently hug me and kiss me on my cheek every time he saw me. He was nice but certainly had a dark side to him. When I met him the first time about 3 years ago he had just gotten some facial surgery done. Apparently, one day when he was walking out on his driveway he slipped and fell face down. His cheekbones were shattered after his fall and he had reconstruction surgery. As a result of this long ongoing process and rehab, he became depressed and was put on anti depressants. With time his face began to heal. I met him a number of times at the bar and also realized that he had a problem with his alcohol. His depression was making him an alcoholic. After a few drinks, he would be very pleasant and we would talk for hours about politics, religion and race. He was a born catholic but held the church in contempt for a lot of reasons. So S, R and me would talk for hours and then go home. Over the course of time, I stopped going there as often as I used to. Eight months ago while I was there, our man turned up and was pretty down. He had just been diagnosed with colon cancer. Here was a man who was in the mid 40s. His wife had left him a few years ago, his business partner had duped him and he had no family. I tried to psychoanalyze him and at that time I inferred that he was a good man who was fucked by the ways of the world. He trusted too much, felt let down, became bitter and depressed.
S the bartender told me yesterday- S by the way has never drank in his life. S told R that he had a choice. Fight the cancer by leading a healthy life and by not drinking and smoking. R tried but kept coming back to the bar, was drunk out of his brains, was taking painkillers and supposedly snorting other illicit substances to ward away the pain. R went through chemo and basically the insurance company decided to stop paying for the chemo as they felt that the damage was too much. The last time I met R was 3 months ago and he was sitting on the barstool, having food and sipping some wine. He had lost 30 pounds through his chemo and he was going down but he was continuing to abuse his body, as he knew his time was running out.
Yesterday, I was at the bar after 2 months and they told me that R was found dead on his couch 2 weeks ago. No friends, no family. He was alone and probably suffered till the last minute.
Bless his unfortunate soul. He will be remembered by me though for his sincere hug and kiss every time he saw me. And you know what? This is exactly how I thought his life would end.

The Zambezi Times

2006-03-24T12:08:00.000-05:00

Aamir Khan gave an interview on tehelka and talked about irresponsible journalism and sensationalizing of all and sundry. Good read. Hopefully, knucklehead reporters and their bosses read it and feel some kind of remorse and stop the madness.

http://www.tehelka.com/story_main17.asp?filename=hub040106Mainstream_CS.asp&id=1

Stop the madness cos I want you to stop the madness and give us stuff that are worthwhile. Stop insulting us with your shit and give us thoughtful articulate pieces.

I have a plan. I want someone to give me a lot of money and run a news channel from scratch. I will have a lot of fun doing it. I will pay curious gawker to be my journalist. He will cover political shit and give his own angle. Something unique. I will address issues that have a philosophical touch to it. Actually, I will interview celebrities and all. Curious Gawker will be in Iraq getting shot at and getting the truth to us while I am with all the celebrities.
I will use Amit Varma for sports as he sounds like a man of integrity.
I think I am mad.

dodo

2006-03-22T15:30:00.000-05:00

Lots of things have happened. The pirates are out of the NCAA, England drew the series (In my eyes they won- dravid’s honeymoon as skipper is over) and the nets are on a 6 game roll.
Other than that the weather is getting warmer and my car is dying a slow death. The shocks are noticeably rattling and I might have to change them. The check engine light is gone though. That saves me 400 bucks. I have a feeling that the converter was never ever gone.
I got a wireless transmitter for my IPOD. Not bad but could be certainly better. Has some static at times.
Kudos to guys who have the passion to blog on a regular basis. I lose interest, get some and then lose it again. I am an avid reader of blogs though. My friend curious gawker seems to be losing interest in writing too for some reason. He is a lazy idiot. Maybe that’s why he isn’t writing.
I read India uncut on a regular basis. Amit sounds like a very pleasant and nice guy. There is so much of talent out there. People are fantastic writers. It is a pleasure to read some of these guys.
Ok I am out. I have nothing of consequence to say and I am wasting space. People, leave Tendulkar alone.

Rules 101

2006-03-16T14:57:00.000-05:00

If any impressionable 14 or 15 year olds read this blog, it will help. (I doubt any kids from that age group blog or read blogs).

Don’t smoke because everyone does it.
School is fucking important.
Stay focussed.
Always think twice.
Women are not toys.
There is guilt.
There is karma- you will always reap what you sow.
Keep smiling
Sex can wait.
You don’t go to the right school, you will have to work 10 times fucking harder after you are done.
Family is most important.
Don’t think with your dick.
Don’t go to jail.
I know you are young, but at least have an idea as to what you want to do with your life.
Remember that you are special in your way and you don’t need to copy anyone.
Be sincere and good things will happen.
Your group of friends will decide where you will end up going to school.
Read books and improve your vocabulary.
Learn an instrument.
Be scared of drugs.
Your parents are sometimes right.
If you are tall, play basketball.
Smile a lot.
Have a good core.
Be happy for everyone around you.
Have faith in something.
It’s ok to masturbate.
Have respect for people who are older to you.
Have compassion for the less fortunate.
Collect stamps of different countries. It will give you an idea of how many different worlds exist.
Enjoy every fucking minute with your family because you will never ever get it back.
Thank your mother for everything she does for you.
Always protect your sister or brother. (Remember that you and your sibling are an extension of your mother).
Don’t ever harass a girl.

Nectar

2006-03-16T14:39:00.000-05:00

The only way to make this stay worthwhile is to spread joy, happiness and compassion. We are mere mass occupying space. Who knows what we were meant to do and why we were created. We created this world and it is not necessarily true that we are here to do what we are doing.
Enjoy your youth while you can, as when old age comes by, it won’t be anything to write home about. Can you run like a maniac, swim like a fish, have sex like a nymphomaniac and not suffer a heart attack? If you can do it all and derive pleasure out of it and if your body still stays yes to more, go for it. Enjoy it. Create your space and don’t harm anybody.

Expressions of Impressions

2006-03-14T14:14:00.000-05:00

Lots of people use this

Go Girl!
You Rock!

What the fuck? Very irritating. What about

Aha!

What the fuck again? There are a lot of expressions like these and they piss me off to end. Lot of people in India seem to be using it on a regular basis. Another one is calling a Tamil person “tam”. Bloody irritating again.
Lower back is hurting again. I am trying to move around more often. They should have gyms at your work place and it should be mandatory to work out for an hour as a part of the workday. We would all live longer and be much more productive.

Whats in the news?

2006-03-13T17:01:00.000-05:00

With a calm mind, open samachar.com. Look at all the headlines. Absolute bull shit. Each one of them sensationalized for no reason. Then, open those sensationalized headlines to read the articles. Nothing. All you find is crap. I wish someone would walk up to all these guys and tell them not to insult us with their nonsense. You have idiots, complete nincompoops who believe that they are journalists.
Then compare that with cricinfo. Absolute brilliance. Good language and good matter. Someone shoot the editor or whoever the fuck is responsible for putting stuff on samachar.com.
Maybe I should become a no nonsense journalist. Maybe I should try and get myself a masters in journalism and then run all over the world trying to provide some legit and pertinent information. Even though Cricinfo is just a sports web site, it is still a good web site with stuff written the right way with class acts like Sambit Lal, Dileep Premachandran, Amit Verma et al l.

david

2006-03-10T13:23:00.000-05:00

I want to write about growing up in a small town. I want to write about the cultural shock that I experienced when I went back to India. I want to write about the fact that I was constantly harassed by bullies when I first went back to India. I was 5 feet 2, podgy and scared. I was in the 8th grade. I did not know the ways of life. I wasn’t street smart. I did not know how to speak Kannada. I was one of the few who spoke English fluently in high school. I went to a middle class borderline lower middle high school. Those were the only ones around then in Tumkur. I was harassed in school, on the way to school and during lunchtime. I was short, scared and lonely. I was ridiculed and called a monkey in Kannada because I was brought up in Africa. They called me Nigeria Kothi (Nigerian Monkey). Till a few years ago, if anyone called me a kothi, I would fucking flip. The first year was horrible. I had to make friends, learn to speak Kannada fluently and also to read and write Kannada. I learnt to read and write in 6 months. If I didn’t, they would fail me. We used to play a game called lagori. You would put 7 stones on each other and try to knock them off with a ball from a certain distance. You had 2 teams playing this and it was the other teams job to tag you before you put the stones back by belting the crap out of you with the ball. These guys used to gang up on me and belt me cos I was fat and couldn’t run as fast. This was all in the 8th grade. I had this fucking guy David-a rowdy who used to harass me all the time. He would turn up in school and catch me during lunch break and used to take away anything from me that he liked. He took my shades and my belt away from me. This was in the 9th grade.
I learnt the language. I used to talk to girls all the time cos I never believed there was a difference between us. I had wannabe gangsters threaten me and tell me not to talk to girls. I once had a couple of guys come over to my house, ask me to get out and grabbed me by my balls. They wanted to prove a point and tell me that I should not talk to girls.
For three years I assimilated the change in culture, got stronger both physically and mentally and learnt to absorb things with a pinch of salt. I made some very very good friends who remain to this very day good friends and we did our own innocent shit like playing cricket and cycling around like maniacs. Human beings when faced with volatile situations end up becoming very political with their choices. As I look back, I ended up making friends with rich, powerful people. I did so because I didn’t come from such a background and hence I was being abused by the scum of society.
Between the 10th and 11th grade, I turned from fatso who was 5 feet 2 to 6 feet 1 and an abundance of strength. With my friends and my physical stature I started getting back one by one. It was not planned revenge in any way. I went back to David’s house, scared the shit out of him and got my belt and glasses back (he still had them). I threw them away. People stopped calling me the Nigerian Kothi and yes I had a temper. The last 2 years in Tumkur, I was a rebel with a few causes. Most of the time, I was pissed off with nothing and have always had an aversion towards bullies. Maybe that’s why I cannot stand eve teasers. I hate them with all the passion under the sun. Maybe I can relate to a woman and how helpless she feels.